


Mystic Romance ~Under Editing~

by LittleToxic



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Boyfriends, Celebrities, Club Night!, Couple Issues, F/M, Female Reader, Friendship/Love, Heartache, Hyun Ryu - Freeform, Innocence, Lemon, Lots of it, Love Confessions, MC Loves Zen, Making Love, More Tags Will Possibly Be Added!, Mystic Messenger - Freeform, Mystic Romance, Oral Sex, POV Second Person, Possessive Zen, Pregnancy, Pregnant Sex, Problems, Romance, Rough Sex, Sex, Shoujo, Smut, True Love, Trust, Unsafe Sex, Virginity, WIP, Zen and MC - Freeform, boyfriendproblems, girl loves boy, good ending, jelousy, life - Freeform, reader - Freeform, shots!, zen - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-08
Updated: 2017-05-20
Packaged: 2018-08-29 20:15:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 35
Words: 44,751
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8503867
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleToxic/pseuds/LittleToxic
Summary: You and Zen are an item! Will you be able to overcome the obstacles that come your way? Will love be enough to heal him from his troubled past, or will you part ways? Will your relationship survive hidden from the public eye? Come and find out what happens between you as time goes on....





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> ~Does not follow the plot line of mystic messenger. Explicit scenes~

You can’t believe you are going to meet Zen. It had been a week since you guys had met online. Your first meeting wouldn’t be until after the party, until you proved you could do a great job, and take over Rika’s life’s work. After that, you would be given your own apartment, hers put to rest along with the sad memories she left behind. It would be constant meetings with potential guests, and traveling overseas, you name it. You could quit your waitressing job and your entire tuition for college would be paid as long you got a degree in Business and Communications. It would be hard work, but you, at the tender age of (your age), were glad to do something that would give meaning to your life.

          The limousine Jumin provided for you came to a halt. It was the first time you had ever been on a limo and you wished you could get more excited for meeting Zen, or driving on a limo. Everything was so leathery and so shiny, but of course, the circumstances of the meeting were not really ideal. What was aching you was how sad Zen had sounded on the phone. You were worried about Echo girl, about his leg. You couldn’t stop thinking about the disappointment in his voice….

You wanted to see him. To make him smile.

          Once you reached his apartment you thanked Mr. Kim. Zen was already waiting for you at the front of his wooden door, leaning on his crutches with an earnest, but sad smile.

“It’s you…” He whispers. His ruby eyes scan you slowly, eagerly.

You can’t believe how much more attractive he is in person. His pictures didn’t do him justice. You are unware that as you regard him, he can’t believe how beautiful you are, and how incredibly tiny you seem.

You frown at him, “You shouldn’t be outside! That leg should be resting!”

He rubs the back of his head and chuckles, “I am tired of just sitting around.”

He steps to the side to allow you to enter. You carry with you a polka dot tote bag filled with snacks. His apartment was small, but modern, the walls were decorated with creams and whites. It felt homey.

“Kinda small, huh?” He asks you as if noticing how you look around. He stops for a second to close the door behind you, but not before driver Kim tells him,

“We will be headed back in an hour.” 

Zen turns towards him with a lively smile on his face, “Nonsense. I’ll send her back after dinner.”

          You put the tote on the limestone counter bar enclosing his small kitchen. You didn’t even hear what he said to Mr. Kim.

“I brought you some healthy snacks: some spring rolls, trail mix.” You take the items out as you speak.

Zen can’t stop staring at you, while you diligently place everything you had brought him. He was aware of how attracted he was to you. He was tempted to pass his fingers through that chocolate hair of yours, which fell exquisitely behind you. You looked adorable in that thin (color) cashmere sweater that fell gently over your (color) suede shorts.  He was lost in thought that he didn’t even hear you calling him.

“Zen?” You ask after calling his name two more times.

You see a tiny blush form on his face and even a blotch of it come to his neck. You are peering at him from his fridge that is completely empty. There was nothing but a dry lemon and drop of milk on a semi-transparent fat free quart.

“I am sorry, (your name). I must’ve spaced out. It’s just that…you are so awfully cute.” He confesses and clumsily goes towards you on his crutches.

You feel a bit nervous at the way his eyes are fixed at you. His ruby eyes are so intense and kind. Oh god, he was so tall.

 “I haven’t been in the mood for much of anything...” He continues. There was a shadow of sadness veiling his features now.

You purse your lips at the sight and go to him, you are just inches away from him now, “You haven’t had dinner have you?” 

He shakes his head silently and his fingers remove a sleek strand of hair that has pasted over your cheek. He notices the rapid blush that paints your face the moment he makes contact with your skin. He likes the idea of making you redden and is warmed by your genuine care for him. Did you blush, so rosy like this, when you guys spoke on the phone? His heart began thumping as he continued watching you. His eyes penetrating you with the various things he wanted to say to you…

He wasn’t listening again. You poked his hard tummy covered by that thin white t-shirt under an unzipped gray hoodie, “Zen????”

He gives you such a deep smile, that you feel faint, and as if noticing he grabs your wrist and tells you, “Let’s go grocery shopping and I’ll cook something for you.” He grins at you again. You are going to die if he kept smiling at you with those charming white teeth.

You pull away from his grasp and shake your finger at him as if you were scolding a child, “No way am I letting you cook with that leg! Promise me you will sit on the sofa while I cook.”

He laughs, a deep baritone chuckle that makes your knees weak. He was loving how conversation flowed so naturally between you, even if it was the first time that you had seen each other.

“Alright, I’ll sit like a good boy.” He agrees. The corner of his lips lifting into a naughty smile and you could have sworn you had seen that smile on his face before, while you guys spoke on the phone.

          The grocery store wasn’t that far from his apartment, thankfully. You close your eyes at the feel of the gentle breeze as night begins approaching, it cools your warm cheeks. The sound of cars drone beside the both of you as you guys chat about the party, about his leg, about Echo Girl. You were glad that there wasn’t any paparazzi following you both. They would ruin this perfect night. You were making Zen laugh and he was making you laugh too. The world seemed to freeze with you together, Zen felt it.  

“I am glad you came, YN. You have no idea what it means to me.”

He grabs you by crook of your elbow and you both stop under a lamp light, like spotlight over both, as he leans down carefully and presses his lips against your cheek. You are paralyzed in the moment, and your heartbeat is humming in your ears. His smell engraves in your nostrils, light cologne and cigarettes.

“Zen...” You murmur completely woozy.

“I am sorry. I got caught up in the moment” He chuckles nervously, rubbing the back of his head with his palm, “I don’t want to pressure you, YN, but I really like you. After this is all over…I want to date you.”

Your stomach dropped with anticipation. There was nothing you wanted more.

          After deciding on making chicken and vegetable stir fry, you guys walk back to his home. The walk is extra slow this time because Zen was insistent in carrying the bags of groceries. He could hardly support himself on his crutches and carry the bags. He stumbled slightly.

You frown and you pull at them, “Give me that, Zen!”

He wrestles with them almost tripping and sulks, “No way. My arms are working perfectly fine, YN!”

You continue yanking trying to get his fingers loose while glaring up at him, “At this rate we will never make it to the apartment.”

“What’s your hurry? It is not that far.” You jerk the plastic bag harder than you intended and he does too. Missing his footing he stumbles back and the crutches go flying up, plummeting Zen backwards, and just as you reach for him, anything, you grab the strings from the cap of his hoodie and you both slam down against the floor.

You whimper in pain and immediately are overwhelmed with fear, “Zen! Is your leg okay?!”

You come to the realization that you are not against the cold hard sidewalk, but on his harden chest. You hear his heartbeat against your ear. You raise your head to finding him looking at you silently, but the way his eyes gleamed are not silent. Your bodies are touching as if they were always meant to be this way. You can feel the firmness of his muscles against your chest, his strong hands over you.

He hypnotizes you with his gaze and cups the side of your face, “I am fine” He assures you and then he says, “You are so beautiful, YN…”

And before you can stand up or notice the way your groceries have scattered throughout the sidewalk, Zen takes you from the neck and pushes you down into a kiss. The kiss is soft, and his lips are firm as he parts your lips with his wet tongue gently. You swoon at how gentle it is. How his tongue caresses you from the inside. You always expected that from Zen. It was that day, that Zen became your whole world.  You lie. It was way before that. This kiss only confirmed what you had known all along: You were in love with Hyun Ryu.

 


	2. Chapter 2

          After the RFA party, all the plans that were placed before hand were set in to motion. That same night as you celebrated with the members at the after party set at Jumin’s workplace, Zen asked you to be his girlfriend, and you readily said yes. It was a new beginning for both you. The rumors with Echo Girl were settled, Zen became more profitable as an actor and you became the official RFA coordinator.

One year led to another, and your relationship with Zen became more than just two people dating. You couldn’t imagine your life without him, or imagine how you lived your life without knowing him.  You guys went on plenty of dates and on December 1st He said, “I love you.”

Your relationship was a secret from the media, but both of you hoped that soon you could reveal how much you both loved each other. In the meantime, he visited your apartment often, that was always heavily guarded, and even though both of you were busy, him with his acting jobs that sometimes were overseas and took months, and you with college and flying to meet potential guests for bigger RFA parties, nothing compared to the time and effort both of you put to see each other.

Even when days passed without seeing each other, you and Zen, made every second count, and the moments spend with each other were the best. When he was in town, you sometimes slept over at his apartment, which was no longer the small apartment you had visited countless times before. It was a more modern one, at a better part of town. You knew how hard Zen had worked for it, and you had even helped him move in. He had looked for the perfect one, one where he could got out to the roof and see that stars with you.

You smile at the memories as you see the buildings pass by the taxi window rapidly and blurrily. Today was a special day. Today marked the two year anniversary between you and Zen, and you wanted to give him something special…your virginity. You clutch your tote bag just thinking about it. How would it feel to be made love by Zen? You had no doubt in your mind that he would be gentle. Your charming prince.

 Your relationship had become more honest and open, but there was doubt that you couldn’t get rid of in the back of your mind. You wondered why Zen had never made the first move. Every time make out sessions between you both became heated, and his erection pressed against your hip, but he never tried more. You could think of countless times when you gave him hints and he always found a way to avoid it or change the subject.  At first you thought that he was being a gentleman, but you were sure that Zen was going out of his way to keep from having sex with you. So you decided to make your uncertainties rest, and you were going to initiate it. Today.

You loved him. You wanted Zen to be the first man in your life. You had no regrets about this. The cab stops by the tall gate of his apartment. You get out and pull the tote bag close to you. Inside, was a bottle of expensive wine Jumin had given to all the members, and an extra change of clothes, and your gift to Zen. It was nothing to fancy, but his bottle of favorite cologne wrapped delicately in silver wrapping paper.

You input the code on the gate to his apartment and it opens. You scurry past the parking lot, and up the stairs and he is already opening the door for you. The aromatic, delicious, smoky smell of veggies and meat hits your nose and makes your tummy growl. He greets you with that boyish smile you love and pecks your lips.

“Babe! Lunch is just about ready.”

“Yum.” You answer entering his place.

He finds you adorable in that white crop top with no design, over some white washed high waist jeans. He wipes his hands on his apron following you inside as you put the wine bottle at the granite kitchen counter, “I want to spend the night, is that okay?”

He smiles even though you have already turned around to take out other stuff from your bag.

If there was any hesitation about you staying, you don’t hear it in his voice as he tells you, “Of course, sweetie.”

          You love how his apartment is dulled by counterfeit candles. Little plastic candle lamps that look just like the real thing. You are happy at the effort he has taken to make this anniversary day perfect. After some chatting and making a fruit salad to accompany lunch. You both have lunch at the rooftop. The view overlooks the entire city. You can hear the droning of life, even as high and far, you are from downtown. It’s beautiful. Zen was right. This apartment was worth every penny.

You both have lunch as you chat and drink beer. He tells you about a new role he might take, you tell him about a meeting with a potential guest. The radio adds to the atmosphere and you wish you could save this moment somewhere, where you could always come back to it. With tummies full, you lay on the beige lawn chair and you almost fall asleep under the gentle rays of sun when Zen popped open a beer and told you,

“I was meaning to tell you babe” he takes a sip, “why do you keep wearing such short shirts, huh? I hate the thought of all the men that eyed your belly when you came here.”

You laugh at the tinge of possessiveness in his voice. You shoot up quickly and you spin on your Conversed feet, “Don’t you like the way I look?”

How could you even ask that? He thought. He loved it, even if he didn’t love the idea of other men ogling you. Your messy bun with strands that fell over your shoulders, put the look together.

 “You’re gorgeous YN, but still.”

He drinks his beer and continues looking at you.

_He is the one to talk_ , you think to yourself. He wore black jeans that complemented his long legs perfectly, and that (color) V-neck long-sleeved shirt clung to his defined body in all the right places. It made you drool how defined and trim his body looked even under his clothing. How could such a sexy man belong to you?

 You saunter over to him and you lean over to get a beer from the cooler that sits beside him by his beige plastic lawn chair. Just as your fingers curl over the lid, he grabs you from your hips and pulls you onto his lap, “Thanks for my gift, babe. I loved it. How did you know I was running out of _Sensual_?”

  _Sensual_ was the name of his cologne. He places the beer can down by his booted feet as your wrap your hands over his neck and you kiss his cheek, smelling his cologne and the cleanliness of his white hair,

“I just knew” you tell him and you cup his chiseled face and steal a kiss. You kiss was so tender that Zen received it eagerly. He presses his mouth harder against you and your tongues caress each other. He grabs your hips tight against him. You separate from his mouth to peer into his eyes, “I love you, Zen. I want to spend more years with you.”

“Forever, baby. You don’t have to waste money on me. Just having you here is the best gift of all” he whispers capturing your lips again, but not as gentle as you had.

You can hear his breath quickening as he bites down playfully on your bottom lip in a way that makes your stomach jump and makes you tingle between your legs. From your neck and between your breasts dangles the golden necklace he gave you. The H and the (letter of your name) together, inside a classically simple, but elegant golden heart. Your heart was his and his was yours.

 


	3. Chapter 3

          A kiss that started so tenderly had turned urgent. You wanted him so much that you accommodate without leaving his mouth and straddle him. It was then that you felt him stiffen and even as you deepened the kiss, you felt that hesitation.  He wraps his arms around you and stands up with you in a sudden movement. You feel like a pet monkey now. He smiles down at you, “Let’s watch a movie.”

There is some sympathy in his voice as if he knew that he had broken a special moment. You see that gleam of sadness in his ruby eyes. You slide from his body, feeling that avoidance again. Tension begins to fill the air. He can feel you are upset even as you pretend you are not. He watches as you smooth your stray hairs back into place. You go the wicker table and pick up the empty fruit salad bowls, and other plates and begin heading inside, but not before Zen grabs you from the shoulder and tugs you gently,

“Are you mad at me?”

You are paralyzed by a quick-second. _YES!_  You want to scream, but can’t. Your throat feel dry. You look into the glass doors that lead to his apartment. You focus on his black leather couch, the dimness of the room because of the candles and you face him with a bright, a way too bright smile, “How can I stay mad that face?”

          You didn’t want to take drastic measures, but you had no choice. Today was the day you had chosen. You were going to give yourself to Zen, and if he avoided you again then your worst fears were going to be confirmed: He was hiding something from you….

The movie was just 30 minutes in when you excused yourself to go the bathroom. It was down the small hall to the left. There was still tension between you even if he held you against him throughout the movie. You need it to end that tension now.

You look yourself over in the tall mirror and let your hair down. It cascades behind you. Your breath begins quickening with nervousness as you toe off your shoes and begin pulling down your pants, taking the pink lace panties you had bought with them. They weren’t going to work. You had to make it clear to Zen exactly what you were proposing him. You needed to tempt him. You buy time to gather more courage, folding everything and placing it neatly over the toilet lid.

You let out a shaky breath as you walk over to the living room. Your bare feet on his wooden floor. You see him sitting there, completely relaxed. His shoes off and his socked feet extended on the coffee table, his toes by his ashtray. His arms are extend over the length of the sofa. He laughs at some silly joke in the movie and grabs his beer, “Babe” he calls to you, “You’re gonna miss the best part.”

Just as he takes a drink of his beer, he catches you from the corner of his eye. He makes a double take and almost spits his beer out. He reaches over to put the beer down on the coffee table, taking his feet off. He doesn’t take his eyes off you. His eyes linger over you slowly.

You walk towards him nervously. Your cheeks are flushed pink and you feel them noticeably hot. Zen licks his lips absentmindedly as his eyes shadow with lust when he sees that enticing V between your legs. He feels a shiver go through him as hunger begins to consume him. He feels parched and thirsty the moment you stand in front of him. He looks up at you little by little capturing your naked bottom half, engraving it in his mind. He can see the uneasiness in your face. The urge to cover yourself, but still to give.

 “I want you to make love to me, Zen” you voice quietly and his eyes lock with yours, he mouths your name.

 He sucks in his breath when his hands wrap around your hips without his control. He pulls you forward towards him between his legs. His hands are cold because of the beer, but they soon warm against you. Your breath came in tiny pants the moment he settles his lips against your hipbone. His lips part and his tongue traces lightly against you like a paintbrush on canvas. You squirm at the shuddering sensation of his tongue on you and he wraps his hands over your naked bottom to still you. He continues giving you open-mouthed kisses from your hips to your navel. Your scent intoxicating him, making it impossible to breath.

“YN…” he slurs your name as his wet kisses continue torturing you as he presses his face against your lower abdomen. You feel his heated breath.

_I should stop myself while I still have the chance._ He thought. But he couldn’t. You were like a drug, the more he tasted you the more he wanted. He pushes you back by the hips so he can see what he really wanted to touch and taste.

You bite your lip at the way he stares at you with such fire. His arousal hardening under his pants. You are sure he can feel you trembling.

Zen felt his body burning as he nudged your legs apart with a straightened palm, so he could see you completely. You part them obediently and at the moment his fingers slide between your wet folds, you hear him breath in a steady hiss. You shake at the sensation of his fingers tracing your folds and stopping to rub that little nub. He pins you with his smoldering gaze as you throw your head back in a gasping moan. His eyes pierce through you as he continues rubbing his wet thumb over your clit and he holds you steady with a strong hand when your legs begin to sway. He swallows thickly as he spreads you open with his thumb and forefinger to see those hidden folds.

“Look at that…” he utters softly, hungrily.

With his palm spread over your naked ass he pushes you towards him and he lowers his face to give your clit a sampling lick. You thrust your hips without your control against his face as the shattering pleasure crushes into you, wanting more. His tongue runs over you, his face buried between your legs. He can feel your thighs trembling against him. Oh how he loves the way you taste! You are going to drive him crazy.

He pulls away passing his strong fingers down your cleft again aching to bury them inside you. The moment he feels your virgin barrier he pushes you back. His reaction is so sudden that you don’t know how to respond.

“Y-you’re a virgin?” Zen asks in disbelief. It had occurred to him that he hadn’t really asked you and you had never mentioned it. That is how taboo bringing up sex had been between you. He knew how wrong that was. How strange it was that your boyfriend of two years didn’t even know that…

“Yes.” You express, “Is there something wrong with that?”

He can hear the hurt in your voice. He passes his fingers over his hair frustratingly, “Of course not.”

You hear an alarm in his voice you hadn’t heard before. You knew now there was a reason he was acting this way. You weren’t just imaging it. You lower to his eyelevel and cup his face, “Hyun...I love you. I want you to be my first.”

You see that he wants to stand up but you block his way and you refuse to move. Instead he looks away, “You don’t know what you are saying.”

You see the anger and hurt in his eyes.

You stand up at his clear refusal. It hurts, yes, but as he sits there looking down at his feet, as if you being a virgin was the worst piece of bad news in the world. You know it is not because of that. Does he feel unworthy? What is it?!  Did this have to do with his troubled family past?

“It’s okay. If you hate me, YN.” He mutters. “I don’t deserve to take your innocence away.” It is the dismay in his voice that makes your heart ache for him.

 His head buries against your abdomen catching you by surprise, his cheek kneads against you. You feel his warm tears on your skin, and you embrace him against you. Your arms wrap around him. This strong man, your knight in shining armor, was trembling like a little boy.  

“Talk to me, baby. Please…” You plead and your voice cracks but he remains silent.

A wall shuts you out fast and quick, as he rips away from you and stands up.

“I need you to go, YN.” he tells you and you can’t believe your ears as he closes himself up in front of you. You can almost see the distance separating you, even as close as he was. He gives you his back and you touch his elbow. He rips brusquely away from you. Despite of this, he says calmly, “Get dressed. I’ll call you a cab

 “Zen…” There is questioning in your voice. You want to know what is going on, but you don’t want to probe more. You are too afraid. There was wound there and you don’t know why, “Are you going to accompany me, so you can walk me home?” As he always did with you.

“The sun is still out.” He shuts down. “You will be fine. Just text me when you arrive, okay?”

You feel as if your heart has been ripped away from your chest cavity and stomped on. How could such a beautiful moment be crushed into pieces? Without saying a word you go to the bathroom and change. Hot tears pool in your eyes and blind you and you can’t keep them in….

**To be continued…**

         

 

         

 


	4. Chapter 4

In the emptiness of his room Zen looks up the ceiling, the cigarette smoke rolling form his parted lips. He sees it vanish in front of him. His face contorts into a grimace, a painful look in his eyes as he remembers how he had shut you away, how he had send you away, in a special day like your anniversary. What the fuck was wrong with him?! He clenched his hands into a fist and felt the urge to scream, to cry. He loves you. He loves you, and he has pushed you away like damn coward.

          Your tears hide behind your (color) eyes as you pass through downtown.  The tall buildings passing in a blurry speed, the sunset on your face, but you don’t care. All you think about is Zen. Will your relationships suffer? Will you guys break up? You feel your stomach drop just at the thought. You love him! He means the world to you, but in your grief you think about that instance you shared. How his velvety lips pressed between your legs, how his tongue tasted you as if you were a delicious dish. You shudder and a loud _thunk_ wakes you harshly from your daydream, and the taxi cab swerves. You let out a high-pitched scream as the cab breaks down….

You let out an exasperated sigh as you plop on the sidewalk, you stare up at a glossy building behind you with your head thrown back, you marvel at how the sunset reflects on all its windows. The taxi driver calls you another cab.

“Miss?”

“Yes?” You look at him hoping its good news

 He scratches his temple embarrassed and apologizes, “It may take a while miss. There is an event on the other side of town.”

You smile, “It’s alright.”

But internally you scream: SERIOUSLY?! Just you’re freaking luck!!

 You stand up as people pass to and fro, their voices indistinct and droning around you. You press your fingers against your lips thinking about your next move. Surely at least one cab will pass by downtown today? You fiddle with your tote bag as you crane your neck when cars zoom by. You give a quick look at the taxi driver that argues with someone on the phone. You decide that at the moment is best to wait. There has to be at least one cab in downtown…

          Your apartment is 45 minutes away. You laugh internally, just 45, freaking minutes, away. By the time you decide to walk the sun has just retreated and the taxi driver is still toying with his broken cab. Your phone vibrates from your back pocket as you begin to walk. You take it out hastily, angry at Zen for sending you back, angry at yourself for not fighting back and staying. You brush heated tears as you read it:

**Are u home, babe?**

You want to write the truth. Tell him: _come pick me up you idiot_. But you don’t because you are hurt and your pride weighs over you too.

**Yes.**

You put your phone away dropping it in the tote bag this time. Downtown is daunting as soon as the sun is gone, and you begin to feel chilly on your naked stomach. Homeless people ask for money under flickering streetlights. Bars begin to open and sleazy guys begin whistling at you. You let out a weak sigh _._

_You have guards damn it. Go wait in a bar and tell them to come get you._

The bar begins to sound like a logical answer and you stare at the blue glow coming from the BLUE BAR’s opened doors, until you see it, a cab!

Never in your life have you been so happy to see one. You run almost mid-street and wave your hand as if you were whacking furiously at a fly. To your luck he stops and you slide into the back doors. Even the musty smell, that is normal in cabs, comforts you. You give him the address of a park close to your apartment and he takes off. Even though your apartment wasn’t a secret to the members of RFA anymore, it was a secret to strangers, even taxi drivers. Your buff guards that surrounded your apartment 24/7 would destroy anyone coming close, but proper precautions were always taken.

          You give a courteous thank you and you begin going through the narrow dirt path that you had walked countless times next to Zen. You still feel your stomach summersaulting, and you are exhausted, so much for a romantic night with Zen. The stars stretch over you, your only company.

You are about to cross the small wooden bridge that curves across a flowing pond, it is the only way to your apartment, unless you want to go through the trees and shrubs and get pinched by something. There is a man standing in the middle of the bridge, his back towards the railing. The streetlight that shines the path of the bridge flickers over him. He has a red cap on, no--purple, the cap is low on his face.

You are scared for an instant, not because he is doing anything suspicious, he is just standing there, but your gut tells you that there is something wrong. You aren’t thinking straight. You are heartbroken. How could Zen let you go like that? You should call your guards, but wait where?

You hear some laughter and you see some girls powerwalking past the trees right across the bridge. That gives you courage, they keep walking down the park with their sweatpants on, and their earphones glued in their ears. You speed towards the bridge about to leave the man behind, when a jerk pulls you back. Your heart sinks.

“Why are you so alone, pretty girl?”

The maliciousness in his tone, tells you right away that you are in danger….

 


	5. Chapter 5

“I am not alone!”  You pull away from his clutch. His dirty fingernails leave your skin as your pace hastens, “My friends are going to leave me. Now if you will excuse me!”  You lie. You desperately look for those girls you just saw.

Your heartbeat is hammering and drowns away your hearing, as you begin to run and he runs after you. You feel like you are in some sort of nightmare. Where everything is going wrong. Things like these, never happened in your neighborhood.

“Help!” You yell as loud as you can muster and your fear allows.

The anguish and desperation, burns in your throat as you hear him say,

“Headphones are the greatest invention ever! They won’t hear you and they won’t hear you when I catch you either!”

You are panting now, trying to get yourself out of this situation. You are fighter! You will not give up that easily. You remember that in your tote you carry a cat shaped taser that Jumin gave you. You dig through it as you try to gather as much distance. Your eyes glance down your tote and towards the park trail.

Finally you grab it. You spin on your heel and aim it towards him. He staggers towards you like a crazed maniac. His hat has fallen from his face, and you can’t believe how bad your luck truly is. This man is Yoo Young. The serial rapist that had escaped months ago!! How did he make it all the way across the country to this city?!

He lets out a morbid screech when you hit him with about 3 million volts of power. He convulses and falls face down on the ground. You are breathless and your bangs are pasted over your forehead. You are unaware of what to do, so you creep towards him and zap him again for good measure. By then, he isn’t even flinching and you call the police first and then you call Seven.

“Seven! I need you come to Jaji park, please!”

He can hear how scared you are and he immediately panics. “Are you okay?!”

You tell him everything and when you see Yoo stirring, you shoot him once more as he crumbles to the ground without a cry.

“YN. What on earth are you doing alone at night?!” He doesn’t even wait for answer and tells you, “Be right there.”

Seven is 20 minutes away from Jaji Park, and those 20 minutes seem eternal. Your gaze doesn’t lift from Yoo. The white cat, aimed at him ready to strike. You will not let this man go. You will not let another person be victimized by him.

          Seven in his coy fish pajama tank and inky sweatpants, is already calling Zen while he merges into traffic. Cars beep angrily at him as he cuts them off. It’s 10:30pm. He doesn’t wait to hear Zen grumble about his late calling when he says,

“Can you tell me why, YN is all alone at Jaji Park?! I thought you guys were celebrating?!”

“WHAT?!”

He tells him everything and Zen hangs up. If something happens to you. He will never forgive himself. _What have I done?_! His mind screams.

He sees your bright smile in his mind. The tears in your eyes as he tells you to leave. Grabbing his motorcycle helmet from the closet by the doorway he rushes to you. He just hopes that you will want to see him.

When Seven arrives, the police is already there. They are arresting a mumbling Yoo, and telling you how lucky you are. A policeman is jotting down something you are telling him, and when you see Seven, you hurry to him and give him a hug. You are so happy to see a familiar face. There is concern in his face when puts his hefty orange and black jacket over you.

“Jesus, YN.”

He rakes his fingers over his red hair and walks you over to a bench.

“I had a fight with Zen.” You confess and tears begin streaming down your cheeks. Over the fight, over this. “The cab broke down and it took me forever to find one.”

“Because of the festival.” He informs and then he scolds, “You have guards. Why didn’t you call them? Why didn’t you call me?”

You wipe your tears with the back of your hand.  You know you had been foolish, but never in a million years did you think you were going to get attacked by a fugitive.

You are about to say something anything in your defense, when you hear footsteps running towards you. Zen rushes to you all disheveled. His hair is down and falling over his shoulders, a thin white tank under his leather jacket. There is dread in his features.

You meet him half way and run into his arms that open for you rapidly, as if it was the most natural thing in the world. In his warmth, in his protection, you begin to cry again. You bury your face against his chest and he cradles you. The worry on his eyes, on his features deepens, and he holds you tight.  When he knows you are safe and it’s all over, he pushes you back from the shoulder gently to frown down at you,

“Why did you lie to me? You dummy.”

You can’t meet his eyes and you stare to the side instead. He can see the hurt dulling your (color) eyes.

“It’s my fault” He says then. “I pushed you out into danger. I don’t deserve you, I know that”

You meet his gaze and there is a haze behind them. An impenetrable misery. This time he is the one that averts your eyes, “I understand if you want to break up with me”

He lets go of your shoulders and stuffs them into his gray pajama bottoms and you force him to look at you by grabbing him from the lapels of his leather jacket, “Tell me exactly what the hell happened back in the apartment, Hyun, or it all ends today.”

There are no more tears in your eyes. Those are over now. He sees and feels the frustration in your voice, on your face, and he knew then, that he couldn’t continue hiding it from you. He needed to tell you everything….or risk losing you forever.

 

 


	6. Chapter 6

Zen’s chin is buried in your freshly washed hair. You are wearing your (color) spaghetti-strapped pajama dress that you had initially brought to stay over in. His arms wrap over you. The shock from the events is over, and after some warm (favorite flavor) tea you are feeling at peace. His strong hands sweep over your arms, warming you. His body presses hard behind you. His voice shakes faintly,

“When I was younger, I fell in love with a girl named Hana. She was my first love. At the time, I had already run away from home. I was doing shit I wasn’t supposed to, and Hana went to a private school. She was the epitome of a good girl. I loved her, or at least I thought I did. We dated and she kept insisting almost obsessively that she wanted to sleep with me. Well one night, she got me drunk enough to convince me. We had sex and that was the last time I heard of her…”

The despondency in his voice pierces deep in your heart. The pain. His pain. His courage in opening his wound to you. You squeeze the forearm that is draped lazily over you hip as he continues.

“I went crazy looking for her, and then I saw her at a fancy café. With no care in the world.  I found out then, she had made a bet to see how long it would take her to have sex with me. I thought it was just one bad experience, but no…. all the girls I have dated would sleep with me, and either dump me right after, or become extremely jealous of me, and my career. They told me because I was too good looking, I could never be faithful. So they cheated on me first, or just took what they wanted and left.”

He draws you firm against him as if he was afraid you were going to fly away, “I never cared about them. Not truly. I didn’t care when they got up and left. I was used too, being used….”

“Zen…” You utter quietly. His pain is yours. You turn in his arms and he shifts to allow you space. You see the shadows dancing in his eyes. The loneliness, the betrayals. You wrap your arms over his neck and he envelops you in his.

“I just can’t bear the thought of you doing that to me, YN. I-I’ll go insane. I care about you so much. When I saw you come to me, I got terrified. Terrified that you would leave me…”

You feel him tremble against you, your resilient knight. “I would never do that to you, Zen. I don’t love you just because of your looks. I love you because you have a beautiful soul to match. I trust you.”

You cup the side of his face and raise your chin to plant your lips softly over his. A comforting caress.

“I know you aren’t that kind of person…but the doubt… it comes without my control. I am sorry. I should have told you this earlier, maybe I would’ve avoided making a mess of our anniversary.”

He kisses your forehead and stares at the digital clock on top of the black wood nightstand. In a sudden movement, he rolls on top of you, “If you aren’t too shaken. I am willing to make it up to you. We have five minutes before our anniversary is over.”

He beholds you with such kindness and love that it makes your tummy ache. His hair cascades around you. You nod, and then assure him tenderly, “Nothing scares me when I am with you.”

He smiles and presses his lips over you, his tongue gradually claims dominance over you. He wants you just as much as you want him. He wants to tell you all the nights he has jerked off thinking of you. He is going to show you, how much he desires you. He is not willing to waste any more time.

He grabs your nightgown from the hem and elevates his body just enough to pull it off you. Your creamy breasts become bare to him and he groans when he catches sight of them. You lift your arms, and when the material is off, he throws it to the side and swiftly captures one of your breasts into his mouth.

You let out a whimper when his tongue begins circling your nipple, tasting, caressing. He licks his way to the other, leaving a trace of saliva over the valley between your breasts. Your fingers run through his white hair absentmindedly. You can’t control the sounds of delight escaping your lips, and you are aroused at the feel of Zen’s hard-on rubbing against you.

Your body arches against his, demanding more. You caress his neck, down the hard planes of his back covered by that pesky a-shirt. You begin crumpling it in your hand pulling it off him steadily. He groans when the tips of your fingers stroke him. He pulls one arm out and then the other, his mouth never leaving your body and you continue kneading his muscular build. He is sinewy and lean, it excites you, your arousal pools and soaks through your panties.

He gives open-mouth kisses down your body, over your tender ribcage, making your skin cover with goosebumps. His erection pokes intently against your leg, reminding you of its presence.

“Zen...” you purr and he can feel your desire by the way you say his name. Your roused voice urges him on. His tongue draws tiny circles under you navel, towards your hipbone. He is going to taste you completely. He wants you with such a power, that the way you taste and grind against him, is almost enough to make him orgasm...

Almost.

He finds the rim of your panties and his breath warms over that part of you that is pulsating with need. With his teeth he scrapes the elastic. He nudges your legs up until your knees are bent on either side of you, butterfly style.

He marvels at how your faded pink panties are soaked with your arousal. “You’re so wet for me, YN.”

He meets your eyes with a darkened look. He is no longer that shaken little boy, but a man that wants to devour your body inch by inch. When his lips kiss your inner thigh you tremble against him, and your muscle spasms without your control. He gives your thigh a squeeze, “I was thinking about your taste all night…”

He pulls your panties to side and he catches his breath at the sight of you. He is pushed over the edge by how your parted sex and all those delicious folds, glisten. His finger traces up and down your cleft, your silk covering him, as you moan responding to his touch. He licks his lips like a thirsty man, and spreading you open with his fingers, he takes you into his mouth.

Your head swims in pleasure as he torments your clit. You don’t know what to do with yourself, it just feels so good. You rake the tips of your fingers down his muscly arm that kneads your nipples and down to the side of his face.  You watch him please you, nestled between your legs. His mouth savors you so eagerly. You can see his jaw flexing while he continues sending explosive tremors throughout your body. Without your control your hips thrust and your hands press the back of his head. You swear you feel him smirk against you and with a trembling gasp your toes curl, and you push him firmer on your core. He obediently buries his face in your juices, that drown him when you cum into his mouth. He lets out a muted hiss, as his tongues laps and takes all of you.

“Zennn...” you sob in your release.

He watches you convulse, which inflames his cock. It throbs and jolts, wanting his own release. How beautiful you look orgasming against him. His strong hand hold your hips immobile as you continue to shake under him, and then to your surprise that thick, developing blast comes over you again making your body vibrate, making you scream out in torture.

By the time he rises from between your legs, he is covered in your juices, his lips curved in a satisfied smirk. You stare up at him heavy-lidded as his thumbs hook on the edge of his pajama pants. “You have no idea how many times I have imagined you cumming into my mouth”

You shudder at his voice, which has become hoarse in yearning. There would be no rest for you. Zen was hardly finished and you become aware of that, the moment his pajama bottoms drop and he yanks your soaked panties off you….

 

 

 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi. Don't get your sex education from here ladies. I know that is sounds ridiculous to say that, but you never know and you can read puddpudd's commebt below. :)

The moment those pants drop and reveal his cock, you let out a loud squeal. It is so big!

 “You got to be kidding me.” You utter to yourself more than anything, and Zen frowns at first and stares down at his own member.

“What’s wrong?” He asks you as he tugs you by the ankles sliding you towards him.

“It’s huge!” You tell him placing your hand over your mouth. “You can’t be handsome and have an enormous thing, Zen!”

He laughs rumbustiously, “Says who, YN?”

“Says everyone! It’s just not fair.” You sit up on the bed.

It’s not like you haven’t felt that erection before when you guys made out, but seeing it in front of you in the flesh was a different story. Zen was truly perfect. Even _that_ part of him was beautiful. You can’t help but admire his manly physique and how rigid and velvety it stands against his firm tummy.

He bites his bottom lip and he sees how red your face is. “Stop staring at it, YN.”

The moment he says that you poke it with your finger and it jumps! There is awe in your face and he gets mildly annoyed. Why are you so damned cute?! He grabs you by the wrist taking you by surprise and pushes you back on the bed. With his knees he spreads your legs apart and settles on top of you, “I am supposed to be taking away your virginity.”

He kisses your lips tenderly, and his hips press against you and you feel that aching hardness against your wet core. You love the feel of his weight over you and you spread your legs wider for him as you kiss him back. Your tongue plays with him and you whisper between kisses, “I love you.” He feels like the luckiest guy in the world.

He guides his cock in-between your bodies and places it directly at your entrance. He begins rocking against you and he immediately feels you tremble in nervousness. Your eyes shut tight.

 “Are you sure about this?” He whispers and you open your eyes and you see the worry in his. You trust him, but you can’t help feeling anxious at this new experience.

“I am sure, Zen.”

He smiles as he nudges a bit further in. You clasps the ball of his shoulders and he is immediately concerned, “You alright?”

You nod stiffly, “A-aren’t you supposed to wear a condom?”

He chuckles and kisses your lips, “I haven’t had sex in years, YN. I don’t have condoms, but don’t worry alright? I will never do anything to harm you.”

You nod again and he drives deeper and your hands circle over him bringing him against you. The sharp pain overtakes your pleasure and when he thrusts again he is finally inside you.

You cry out, “Z-Zen.”

The feeling of being stretched by something so foreign and thick feels like too much to take.

He stiffens and allows your body to accommodate to his invasion, but the rush of pleasure of how tight you are around him makes his breathing intensify. All he wants is to move inside you and take you completely. He had forgotten how incredible sex was. He thrusts ever so slowly and you whimper without control.

“I can’t, Zen. It hurts.”

          He pulls out of you delicately and you feel instant relief. He collapses beside you and embraces you. Your face buries in his chest. “The worst part is over” he soothes. “Let’s go to sleep and we try again tomorrow.” You stare at his erection that is still so stiff.

“At least let me pleasure you, Zen.” You escape his embrace only to have him yank you back in his arms.

He grabs your chin with his forefinger and thumb and stares intently at you. “I want us to find pleasure together, YN. I want us to orgasm together. I want your first time to be something that you will always remember. Like that, even if one day we aren’t together anymore, you can look back to this day as something you enjoyed.”

What he says makes you redden and your heart stops at his words, but he doesn’t care. Kissing your forehead, he shifts just enough to reach for the lamp and turn it off. In the darkness, you rest in his arms and drift to sleep.

          The light of the sun shines over your face through a small opening in his gray curtains. You get up immediately remembering the events of last night. You turn around to find Zen gone. The toasty smell of coffee envelops your senses and you go to it, but not before finding your pajama dress. You can’t find it anywhere. You move the printed duvet and then you gasp so loud you aren’t sure how Zen can’t hear you from the kitchen.

 On his beige sheets there is two dime sized stains of blood. You are overcome with embarrassment and you quickly throw everything off and you yank them off taking them directly to the laundry room. You go to the living room and look over the kitchen and you feel relieved that you can’t find Zen, but at the same time you are wondering where on earth he is. You decide to find him after you put these sheet to wash. You enter the small laundry room in shame. You hope that Zen didn’t see! After you work on the stain with everything you find in the cramped laundry room, you head to the kitchen and find the note stuck on the screen of the modern microwave.

**Babe good morning. I didn’t want to wake you.**

**Went to the store to get some cigarettes and some condoms.**

**P.S I made coffee and pancakes. They are in the microwave. Let’s eat together, yeah?**

You smile and you decide to shower. You use the shower in his room. The water slides over your heated skin and your body burns remembering his mouth on you. You are about to close the faucets when the bathroom doors open.

“Babe? Where are all my covers?”

“Washing. Now get out!” You scold and you see his shadow come forward.

“You came in my mouth last night babe. You aren’t allowed to be shy anymore.”

You gasp at how crude he is and you hear the toilet lids go up and hear the sound of peeing. Your cheeks are burning hot. You aren’t sure if to wait until he leaves or just get out. Making up your mind for you, he slides the curtains and greets you with that silly grin you love. He has the towel extended in his arms and you go forward allowing him to cover you and when your feet sink in the squishy bath mat, he embraces you and kisses you so tenderly that you feel butterflies in your stomach and then he scoops you up in his arm.

“I am sorry, YN, but I am going to make love to you.”

You shudder in his arms. You had awakened the beast inside him and he wouldn’t be able to calm down until you both found pleasure together.

          He drops you in the corner of his bed that is naked off everything except the heavy printed comforter. Your legs hang from the height of the bed and you try to cover yourself with the towel but he tugs it off you. He removes his wine colored V-neck shirt and jeans hastily. You inhale deeply as you see how hard he is for you already. He drops on his knees and before a thought can pass through your mind he is already buried between your legs. His tongue gives a long tasting lick up your wet sex, and you hear him groan as you raise one leg up to allow him more access. You are overcome by the sound of his mouth pleasuring you with electric languid strokes, at the muffled sounds of his heavy breathing as he finds that one spot that is your complete undoing. With your hands buried in his hair you come with a sharp hiss and your legs clench around his head as your hips buckle in sweet release.

But the torture isn’t over yet, as you whimper in pleasure one strong finger enter inside you and then another, you clasp the naked bed and find your towel instead. He continues to apply that torturous pressure against your clit that makes you writhe against his fingers. You hear the sloppy sounds of your wet sex, the stomach clenching feeling of his fingers driving inside you and with two more strokes of his skilled tongue, you are orgasming again with such ferocity that you scream out. Your breath is a series of sharp inhales as he stands up from between your legs licking his lips.

“You are absolutely beautiful, YN” His voice is rough with desire, and his cock is oozing with precum. Sauntering over the counter you see his shapely behind and hear him fumbling with the package of the condom. Rolling it on quickly he goes to you and you spread your legs inviting him in.

He smirks at you and enters you in one fluid stroke. You gasp as you feel that overwhelming thick pressure again. He remains still and his jaw clenches at the incredible feel of your tight walls. You accommodate to his large size and this time it is you the one who moves. You roll your hips slowly, so tortuously slow that you see him tighten his eyes. You wrap your legs around him and he can’t take it anymore. He needs to feel you. He wants to come with you, he wants to feel your hips buckling with his. With his large hand intertwining with yours he pins it above your head and drives deeper inside you. Your moans are one with his deep groans as he slides in an out of your body in a steady pace. You are not overcome with pain anymore, but with the pleasure of connecting with Zen, of feeling his firm body rubbing against your breasts.

“You’re so tight, YN” He breathes, as you try to meet his pace. Your hips crush against each other with such desperation that you begin to feel that release in the pit of your stomach once more, and sensing it he rocks his hips impetuously until your body arches under him, and your fingers are digging into his back. Your toes curls and you scream out his name in unbridled pleasure. He covers your mouth with his as you cum for him. Your gasping cries losing themselves in his kiss and with a couple of strokes he joins your agonizing bliss. You hear the growls that come from deep inside him, his heavy breathing as he presses his mouth roughly on you at the overwhelming sensation. His jaw clenches against you as your tight walls spasm and milk him completely.

You are convinced that you will never feel this type of pleasure with anyone, but him.

         

 

 

 

 

 


	8. Chapter 8

Today marked the second week of when you started sleeping with Zen. Each time it was just as enjoyable as the last and you were happy you were spending time with Zen in this new way. BUT in those two-weeks his possessiveness has hit its peak. You try to understand that it is not easy for him. For so long, Zen believed that he was not worth of anyone’s love, that the only thing he brought to the table were his looks. When he calls you over eighteen times when you are too busy to answer, or stalks you at school you try to reassure him that you aren’t going anywhere, that you love him, but today of all days, you are in terrible mood. So for today, you turn off your cellphone. You want a break away from everyone. What has you so pissed off is the pressure of the midyear RFA party and the closer it gets the shorter your patience.  You turn the radio to your favorite station.

 At first it was cute you have to admit, cute seeing him all worried and in bed his possessiveness made your tummy hurt just thinking about it. Zen was an amazing lover and a wonderful man, but now it was driving you crazy and you hoped it would settle down soon. 

  You are up on a wooden chair putting away some duvets that you will no longer use when you hear your doorbell. You push the suctioned plastic bag with your duvet inside away and by the time you carefully jump off the chair the doorbell is ringing consistently.

You shake your messy ponytail and let your hair down, tugging up your (color) camisole over you breasts and you yell, “Coming!”

You open the door and it doesn’t surprise to see that it is Zen.

“Babe? Why the hell is your phone off?”

You roll your eyes and leave the door open. He walks in and closes it behind him.

“Pleaseee don’t tell me you came here because I didn’t answer. You have a noon meeting.”

“It is nearby this time and since I had a few minutes to spare I decided to come say hi to my princess.” He grabs you by the waist and crushes you to him, he lowers to brush his lips over yours and you can taste the chapstick on his lips.

“Where is it?” You ask breaking the kiss to fix the collar of his (color) dress shirt. He smells so good. His cologne and that faint little smell of cigarette smoke is a scent you can smell even when he is not here.

“Saint Barbara’s” He grins. He is already preparing for your answer.

“Zen! That is like 30 minutes away from here!” You begin taking bowls from your small dining table to your kitchen, “You here because I didn’t answer. This possessiveness of yours is really starting to hurt my feeling. Don’t you trust me? Do you think I am cruel enough to just abandon you after everything we have shared together? To cheat on you?!”

You were angry now, angry and sad and you begin to feel your eyes getting watery and even that little fact is annoying you more.

You put dishes in the sink and before you know it Zen has wrapped his arms over you. He presses against you. He can’t believe what an asshole he is being. He is hurting the one person he loves the most. He kisses the top of your forehead, his nose taking in the delicious smell of your shampoo.

“Of course, I trust you babe. I promise you that I am trying but I keep thinking about you walking away from me. Then the thought of someone else touching you comes to my mind and it drives me fucking crazy….and before I know it I am already at your door. Maybe I need to seek help.”

 You turn in his arms and you can see that he genuinely feels ashamed. “I know you are trying, Zenny.” You get on your toes and kiss his cheek to reassure him and then he tells you,

“Move in with me.”

You are so shocked by this that the only thing you muster is a, “What?”

“Move in with me, YN. I think is about time, no?”

You pull away from him irritated, “You’re not thinking straight, Hyun. Our relationship is a secret for two reasons--because of your career and because as the RFA coordinator I can’t have gossip and scandals surrounding me and now you want to move in?”

In your mind, the only reason he is telling you this is to have a sense of control over you and your relationship. You don’t believe he is asking you because he genuinely wants to move in with you.

“I don’t understand what the big deal is, YN. We have been dating for two years now and no one has ever found out about us. Why are you getting so upset for? Seven and Jumin think is a great idea.”

You feel like pulling the hairs out of you scalp, “You have already talked it over with them?!”

He flinches because that last part was not intended for you to hear, “Why don’t you just hire a bodyguard to follow me around and report to you twenty-four-seven, huh?! I know that the only reason you are bringing this up is because you are scared that I am going to leave you or cheat on you and God knows what else you think about me!”

Zen gets near you but you put your arms up between you. He has never seen you this upset. That is not the only reason why he is asking you to move in. He opens his mouth to explain but you tell him,

“Leave, Zen. I am too angry to even look at you right now.”

 

 

 


	9. Chapter 9

He sees how livid you are and he knows that it his fault. He keeps his distance and tells you, “I’ve actually thought about moving in with you after our first year as a couple, right during Christmas.” You turn towards him when you hear the fondness in his voice, “It felt so nice to decorate the tree with you, to see you preparing dessert in my kitchen to take to Jumin’s place. Like if we were married, you know.”

You swipe away heated tears before they form. He sits on your wicker chair and sighs, looking up at the ceiling with a warm smile in his face that makes your heart thump, “I wanted to tell you so bad, but we hadn’t even had sex yet then. I was afraid, YN.” He looks at you his eyes flickering in their intensity, “I knew if I asked you to move in I wouldn’t be able to contain myself from touching you. I love you and I want you to move in with me, not because I don’t trust you, but because I can’t stand being away from you.”

You swallow thickly and Zen’s phone begins to ring and he stands up and slides it out of his pocket, rising his shirt in the process revealing that creamy skin of his. He quickly turns it off.

“I want to work hard and know that you will be there waiting for me when I return. I want to wake up with you by my side, YN. I know it will be difficult because our relationships has to remain a secret, but when the time is right I want to scream out to the world how much I love you.”

Your knees weaken and your knight in shining armor catches you before you fall and covers your mouth hard and hungry, that it hurts. You kiss him back urgently sucking on his lips, tasting his tongue, your hands moving over his firm body over that thin T-shirt. Zen turns you on so much.

 He gathers you in his arms bridal style and takes you to your room. He kisses your neck, his teeth rasp the skin and your panties are already soaked. You moan at how delicious it feels, the warmth of his heavy breathing over your skin. He slides his hands up your hips and places you on the bed, you slide back removing your camisole hastily and Zen does the same. There is no speaking anymore, you guys communicate with each other with your eyes. You slide out of your shorts and take off your panties. You spread your legs for him and you hear that sharp intake of breath as he watches your sex glistening in your arousal.

 He almost trips, yanking down his belt along with his jeans. You soon feel the pressure of his body over yours and caressing your wet mound with his fingers, he rubs your clit, fills you with them and then his cock slides inside with one stroke. You gasp out, “Oh, yes.”

Your bodies move against each other eagerly moving in perfect rhythm. Each stroke taking you both to that abyss where only the two of you exist, riding each other to release. You scream out first and with two deep strokes Zen pulls out. Still trembling in your orgasm you watch as he strokes his cock until he comes all over your belly with a deep groan.

You wrap your leg lazily over Zen’s body circling his pink nipple, “You missed your meeting.”

He kisses the top of your head as the back of his fingers brushback and forth on your thigh, “The meeting was canceled that is why I came. I didn’t get a chance to tell you I was joking because you started freaking out on me.”

You frown up at him and you roll on top of his body and sit up. You love how handsome he looks with his disheveled hair after love making, even his ruby eyes get brighter.  You steady yourself by placing your palms on his hard lower abdomen and he brushes your hair from your breast.

“All the stuff you said about Christmas and moving in together is true?”

His lips lift into a smile, “All true. I just didn’t mention that I also want to move in so we can have sex more.”

You frown and pinch his nipple playfully and swiftly he shifts under you until you are seated on his lap and your hands are wrapped around his neck. You place a strand of white hair behind his ear.

“So what do you say, YN? Will you make me the happiest boyfriend in the world and move in with me?”

Your lips part preparing an answer but his cock is hard already and raising you by the hips you feel the thick head stretch you until he is impaling you to the hilt with one thrust. You lean forward to moan into his neck as Zen moves you to his rhythm.

“You drive me crazy, YN.”

 


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and Zen go to Club Blue to celebrate you moving in together, but it seems you have caught someone's eye, much to Zen's discontent.

What you seem to be doing mostly now was getting upset. Now you weren’t sure if it was his fault or not, or if it was yours. You guys had arrived at Club Blue to celebrate your move in together with the rest of the RFA members and you know that being out in public meant that you couldn’t enjoy the little things that were common in couples like holding hands, giving each other kisses, and grinding on the dance floor—okay no, maybe the grinding was far too much, but did he have to completely ignore you like if you were some type of diseased animal? You try to pull it together, diseased is still too much…

You lean over the bar as Zen is dragged away by some of his coworker buddies up the balcony floor of the club.  It won’t take long, he assured. Is better if you stay here, he convinced. He drove you mad especially because there wasn’t much you could do about it. Zen himself, seemed shocked and angry to seem them, but he still allowed them to take him. The pulsing music of the club reverberates around along with flashing lights and you try not let this ruin your mood. You should be happy, you live with Zen now! You wake up to his gentle embrace as he nudges you awake, listen to his complaints when his lines don’t come out right, hear his sex filled voice when he asks so very sweetly,

_Princess, can you give me a blow job? I am stressing out…._

You order a shot and drown the fiery drink quickly. You turn your back to the bar to scope out the nightclub and catch sight of Yoosung and Seven that are coming towards you waving.  You meet them half-way as people who aren’t drunk enough yet pass by you without colliding against you.

“I am so glad that you guys could make it!” You tell them with a laugh, hugging them both and pulling them close to you, so they can hear you through the music. They are both dressed for the night (pick a cute outfit for them).

“Where’s Zen?” Yoosung asks looking around behind you

 You both turn and begin following Seven that shuffles his way to the bar to the beat of the music.

“Some actor buddies of his found him and took him away,” Yoosung notices right away how bitter you sound and he knows how much it must suck to have to pretend you don’t love each other.  Yoosung loops his arm over your arm and smiles brightly at you.

“We are here to celebrate, okay? I am sure Zen will come down soon.”

You smile at his optimism and reach the bar where Seven has some very colorful shots ready for you both. He grins up from the bar stool, “Let’s toast!”

The three of you drown the burning liquid simultaneously and you giggle at the adorable face Yoosung makes at the sour drink.

“Are Jaehee and Jumin coming?” You ask Seven who shoots up when the DJ begins playing some _Above and Beyond._

He starts dancing and leans into your ear, “Jaehee is working late with Jumin, but they said they will be coming together a bit later. Now let’s all have some fun.” He grabs your wrist and grabs Yoosung by the arm, and leads you both to the dance floor. You laugh loudly when you guys merge into the crowd of writhing bodies. You pull on the hem of your (color) dress making sure it stays in place as the three of you begin to gyrate along with the crowd.

          “Who is that?” Yong Lee, Zen’s director, asks following where Zen’s gaze has fallen. Zen leans over the railing staring at how Yoosung and Seven sandwich you. He is going to kill them.

“Friends.” Zen smiles politely. He had the most rotten luck to meet with his cast in this club, of all the clubs in the city. Yong Lee stares at him without saying a word and tucks a sleek strand that falls from his bun. He can’t get his (color) eyes of the beautiful girl with chocolate hair, dancing with her hands in the air. What a lovely smile she has, what big (color) eyes. Both of them ignore the calls from his cast mates that sit on the white booth that looks blueish because of the nightclub lighting.

“I mean who is _that?_ ” Yong Lee asks again, lowering his body over the rail, getting a look in his eyes that makes Zen clench his teeth. He is staring right at her! He licks his lips at the way you throw your head back in laughter as Seven begins making Yoosung uncomfortable by grinding on him. Zen wants to yell at him, that’s my girlfriend back the fuck off, but he can’t. He can’t damn it! The torture and heaviness of it never truly reached him, until now….

“My friend” He mutters under his breath.

Yong Lee heard him through the loud music and he tells him closing in on him, “She’s gorgeous. Is she dating any of those clowns?”

It would be easier to lie in this scenario, but before he can even decide, you look up towards them. You recognize Zen immediately and you wave eagerly and then Seven and Yoosung call him too, putting their arms around you in an attempt to make him jealous.

“Introduce me, Zen.” Yong Lee says making his way down the curved stairs. Zen runs behinds him.

“She has a boyfriend, director.”

Yong Lee fixed the collar of his navy dress shirt and the cuffs of his sleeves too, “Is he here?” He asks giving him a smirk. Zen feels like pulling his hair out in raging jealousy.

“Not yet” He doesn’t let him finish and gives him a playful pat on the shoulder.

“That is all I need to hear, my friend. It’s his own damn fault for leaving his cutie unattended.”

 

         


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~FYI~ I know Seven doesn't drink in game but he does here. It fit his personality, in my opinion, so I gave it go!

By the time you guys make it back to the bar it is already crowded, but you rapidly find your handsome boyfriend who is wearing (design, color) jeans. Even if you want to be mad at him, you can’t. Instead, your heart swells and you want to run into his arms. He leans over the bar and slugs down a beer while he converses with an attractive guy. You aren’t really a fan of man buns but this guy had the facial structure to pull it off well, or could it be that nightclub lights were deceiving you? What was definitely not misleading you was the annoyed expression on Zen’s face when he saw you and the sly smile, Mr.Manbun was giving you.

“Eyyyy Zen, we dancing or what?” Seven says excitedly as the five of you form a little circle. Yong Lee introduces himself to the others and leaves you last. As he leans into Yoosung’s ear in order to understand him through the music, Zen seems to communicate something to you and you frown unable to understand. Soon, Yong Lee’s intense (color) eyes are on you. He offers a handshake and you accept it politely. A soft, large hand squeezes you tight, his thumb rubs uncomfortably on your knuckles.

“And who might you be?” He asks, lowering until he is close to your ear. You feel his breath on you.

“YN.” You utter and you try to pull away from his grip but he squeezes you still.

“I am Young Lee. That dress looks stunning on you, young lady.”

You don’t see the way Zen grits his teeth as you say a _thank you_ under your breath. He is about to grab the director by his ridiculous hairstyle and kick him to the curb when Seven intervenes yelling,  

“Shots. Let’s all do shots!”

You are happy at Seven’s interruption and you are pissed off at Zen for a reason this time. Was he just going to stand there while that guy hit on you? Was his career really more important than you? You know why it has to be this way, damn it. RFA donators don’t want to be involved in gossip and scandal, and Zen’s career is far too fragile.

You decide that you don’t need Zen’s protection anyway. With a forced smile, you rip away from Yong Lee.

“You want to do a shot with me, Yoosung?” You ask him and he nods eagerly. You loop your arm around him and walk away, glaring at Zen.  

“She is feisty, ah?” He looks back at Zen. 

Zen is about to explode and just as he is about to beat his ass, Seven grabs him by the elbow. The last thing Zen needs is a club brawl.

                                                             

* * *

 

“Shots!” Seven shouts with his palms cupped around his lips. You are going enjoy this moment with your friends no matter what. You grab the tiny cup filled with the golden liquid.

“Ready, YN?” Yoosung says and you back it down simultaneously in one drink.

“HEY!” Seven jabs you with his elbow “Together!”  

He orders two more and Yoosung who is starting to get a little drunk doesn’t make a sour face when the three of you drink it this time.

“Yong Lee and I are going for a smoke, guys,” Zen says to all of you. He is fighting to calm down, but he is still angry. He wants to get out here before he explodes. “We will be going soon so stop drinking” He whispers into your ear. You can hear the anger in his voice.

You turn around and look up at him from your chair, “I am having fun.”

Before he can say anything Yong Lee calls him and they both leave.

“Another!” Yoosung cheers “Another!”

The moment Seven slides him another one, you grab it and drink it swiftly. The hot liquid warms you and you are feeling a bit giddy. Yoosung twists on the velvet stool and pouts at you, rubbing his blond head on your shoulder, “Why did you drink mine, YN. That’s not fair. I am not even drunk yet-- _hic_ ”

“No more Yoosung. Once you drink it is hard for you to stop.”

“But I-I am not even drunk!” He slurs and slaps his cheeks lightly to show you, how drunk he is _not._

In fact, he is not the only who needs to stop. You start feeling your ears become hot and you begin noticing that down the length of the bar, there are only couples!

“One more and that’s it, please YN. Seven says it’s okay.”

You ignore him as you look towards the other side to find couples there too! Could you really overcome this tiny detail in your relationship with Zen? Would your hidden relationship survive? You are struck by fear all of the sudden but Yoosung drops his head on your lap and that doubt is pushed far back in your mind.

“You’re so awesome, YN.” Yoosung chuckles drunkenly.

You had no time to freak out because now you had a drunk Yoosung to take care of.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Editing next chapter as I post this one. :) I hope you had a happy new year guys!


	12. Chapter 12

            You lose another rock, paper, scissors bet to Seven and you have your final shot. By then, everything around you has become indistinct and both you, Seven and Yoosung are hammered. Jaehee and Jumin have arrived and poor Jaehee, who has enough work as it is, spends half of her time making sure drunk Yoosung does not undress. By the next hour, Saeran is here too and drinks silently in a corner.  You attempt to ask him out to dance, but he silences you with such a deadly stare, that send a shiver down your spine. You go to Jumin instead who sits uncomfortably in a chair. Despite that, he is the only man in this club dressed in a pinstriped suit he is still popular.

“Let’s dance, Jumin.”

“I don’t think it’s a good idea.” He shuts you down politely but coldly

Seven runs after you and wraps your arms around you swaying to the music, “Let’s all dance!”

“T-that’s a good idea,” Yoosung says and begins sliding off his seat only to be pulled by the arm by an exhausted Jaehee.

She sips on her mixed drink. “Yoosung. I don’t think you are well enough to dance. In fact, I am thinking about calling you a cab.”

You laugh at Yoosung's shocked face when he hears her and he shoots up from his seat, running to the dance floor,  “I want to dance naked!!”

 Everyone rushes towards him except a Saeran and Jumin, who roll their eyes annoyed. In minutes, you are dancing to your favorite song and Jaehee dances with a stumbling Yoosung, who has his arms wrapped around her waist. Okay, maybe he is _forcing_ her to dance. You laugh. You love your friends. You are so glad that you met them.

You focus on the music and at the way it makes your body feel. You wonder what is taking Zen too long. You would love for him to wrap his strong arms around you and dance with you. You wrap your arms around yourself imagining it. You stumble back slightly and someone catches you by the arm, and to your disappointment is none other than Yong Lee. You look around the club to find that you can’t see your friends anymore. Did you really dance yourself away from them that far?

“Hey, you are just the cutie I was looking for. Did you lose your friends?”

“Have you seen Zen?” You shout through the music and you have to crane your face away from him because he comes way to close.

“Zen is outside of the club. I’ll take you to him.” 

“That’s okay,” You tell him but he is already dragging you.

 

* * *

 

“Where is she?!” Zen growls at Seven, who looks around as if he was just noticing.

“Potty?” He says flinching

Zen pushes him away, “I liked you better when you didn’t drink!”

Damn it. He needed to find her now!

 

* * *

 

“Let go!” You dig your fingers into his forearm and luckily he stops, but yanks you to him. He pushes you against his lean body.

“What’s wrong? Are you worried about your little boyfriend?” He caresses your cheek. What? Did he know about Zen? No, he couldn't “He won’t mind if we dance. What do you say?”

“No, you jerk.” Yong Lee doesn’t budge. 

He wasn’t used to being rejected and that was hurting his ego. You knew the lighting club was deceiving you from the very beginning.In that instant, when the normal light shone on his face you become aware that he was indeed a handsome guy, but his eyes were the eyes of a man who got what he wanted no matter the cost and that sent a chill throughout your body. He grips you painfully by the arms when you try to rip away.

“Do you think I’ll let a nobody like you, reject me? I’ve had models throw themselves at me and if you think---”

He doesn’t finish because in an instant you are yanked away. It’s him. Your Zen.

He grabs Yong Lee by the collar of his dress shirt, “I heard you were an asshole, but I didn’t think you were this pathetic.”

“We were just dancing, man.” You can tell how intimidated Yong Lee is by Zen. In fact, Zen seems to be emitting an aura that you had never seen. He was pissed off. No, he was trembling with fury and Yong Lee could see it.

“Zen.” You place your hand on his arm. Hoping not to escalate the issue.

Zen shakes Yong Lee like if he was rag doll even if they are both the same height. “You are lucky we are in a public place, you piece of shit!” He throws him down and he side glanced towards the security guards that begin making their way to them. “Shove your role up your ass. I don’t want it.”

 


	13. Chapter 13

Zen spins on his heels and grabs you by the wrist quickly, he guides you through the dancing bodies merging with them, hiding away from security. He doesn’t say anything as you follow him past the bar, up the stairs, towards one of the darkest corners of the club where the pulsing lights don’t find you.

 It is there that he pins you with his hard body. You have nowhere to go. You are trapped against the wall, trapped against his lean body and his hands that are pressed against the wall on either side of your head, impeding any more movement. You let out a breathless moan when he slams his lips painfully over yours. His lips dominate effortlessly, his tongue parting your lips, tasting you thirstily. 

You respond to his touch with desperate urgency. Your arms wrap around his trim body as you suckle on his bottom lip, and suckle his tongue. He jams his knee between your legs rising your dress up your thighs as he kisses his way hungrily down your jaw, down your neck. The taste of perfume and sweat. 

He groans when his hand drops to your thighs and hurry under your dress. Your body hums with such an intense need that is fueled by the adrenaline of doing this in a public place. He licks up your neck and kisses his way up to your ear,

“We will not come to a place like this ever again, not until we are able to tell the world how much we love each other.” His voice is rough, demanding and all you do is nod as he covers your mouth again and he pushes his knee and you spread your thighs, his knee rubs against your panties as his lips caress your neck, he feels you gulp as you rub your pussy against his knee. You start thinking about his cock, about how it deliciously it stretches you. You are overcome with the urge for him to fill you to take you right here. You are soaking already and that makes Zen’s cock tighten and swell under his jeans.

“You’re soaking…YN” He breathes into your neck pushing his knee in emphasis, “I wish I could taste your sweet pussy.”

You moan at the sound of his voice as he continues to rub against your clit, taking you close to the edge. Your wet panties and his soaking jeans creating the perfect friction. He tortures your nipples, squeezing them expertly with his strong fingers over your dress.

 As if he could read you, as if he knew what you couldn’t take anymore, he removes his knee to replace it with his cock that he has set free. In a swift movement he yanks your panties to the side, his cock slides within your nether lips and he enters you. The pressure of your stretching walls makes him groan as they suck him deep inside you. You wrap your arms tightly around his neck as he drives into you, spreading you, driving into you fast, deep and hungry. His mouth, the music, deafen your agonizing pleasure as you explode against him and his hips continue their relentless thrusting, stroke after stroke until you are convulsing again, squeezing him to release. With a growl, pinning you harder with his body, his cock pulsates and cums deep inside you.

Although, you can't think about it now…thank god you started birth control.

 

* * *

 

          You wake up with a pulsing headache. That is what you get for drinking so much. Your phone keeps ringing and ringing with no end. You groan annoyed as  Zen grabs a pillow and wraps sit over his head in an attempt to deafen the sound.  You crawl your way down the length of the bed, to dig in your purse. You attempt to take the covers with you to wrap your naked body, but Zen snatches it away.

“Seven? Is so early in the morning” You say groggily.

“What the hell?! Why don’t you and Zen answer the freaking phone! Turn on your television now!”

You frown into the phone, running to the living room naked. Your phone is glued to your ear. You don’t even sit and just turn it on.

_Zen, rising star of various popular films, was seen in a heated make out session out of, celebrity popular club, Club Blue._

They show the grainy video of you and Zen making out against his convertible. His hands gripping your ass. You face burns.

_Although the video is fuzzy, there is no doubt that duo wanted their alone time. Just who is she? A hookup? A girlfriend? Multitalented actor, Zen, who is real name is Hyun Ryu, hasn’t been rumored to be dating anyone. Has he been keeping this his naughty secret? His fans aren’t too happy and they want this long haired- brunette’s head, on a spike….._

 

“Oh, my God.”

 

 


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the late update. I dedicate this to Kairibunny. I wrote this very late and edited once, so it might be a bit rough, I'll come back and fix it. Thanks for reading guys. :)

 

“What I want to know if we can finally get all of this out of the way and tell everyone that YN and I are going out.” Zen is visibly irritated and he has dark circles under his eyes, but even the dark circles aren’t enough to distract from his good looks. He has been sporting them for a month ever since this scandal began.

“We can’t do that,” Jumin says professionally. “It has to be after this RFA party is over. We need to give the donors the opportunity to decide for themselves if they want to be part of a more open and publicized RFA.”

Zen makes a noise filled with frustration and slams his palms on the oak table of the conference room.

 “My phone keeps ringing off the hook. I have already changed my number  _twice_  and my agent is all in my ass. We need to fix this fast.”

“You should’ve thought about that before you began harassing her in a public place” Jumin met the daggers that Zen threw at him with just as much fervor.

“I wasn’t harassing her you piece of…”

Seven interrupts quickly, “I am trying my best to bury it. At least I have managed to conceal the address of your apartment.”

Jumin places the rim of his wineglass to his lips but he doesn’t get to taste it because his gray eyes brighten with an idea. “How about you break up with, YN?”

Zen glares at him, “That’s your brilliant idea? Fuck you, Jumin.” He runs his fingers through his hair and says frustratingly, “I have a movie premiere tonight and it’s going to be swarming with reporters.”

* * *

 

You watch Zen exit the shower, drop his towel and stare at the white tuxedo laying over the bed as you grab your cell phone from the nightstand. You don’t even have the energy admire his shapely behind. Things have been a bit tense between you since the news broke out, and you both try to stay out of the public until the scandal dies down. The midyear RFA party rests on your shoulders and it’s stressing you out. You walk past him but he blocks your path and grabs you by the wrist tugging you against him.

“Babe, please smile for me.” He leans in to give your forehead a kiss. “I wish I could announce to the world how much I love you. I do. Jumin said that after the RFA party we can consider going public, but I want you to know that once that happens it’s not going to be easy for you. The public world can be a little harsh.” He cups your face in his hands. You stare at the black circles under his eyes, the worry behind those ruby orbs. You give him a wide smile and play with a strand of his white hair.

“I am ready, I think. I just want what is best for us.”

“It will all work out, babe. My career is not where I want it to be just yet, but I can’t ask for more. Even if I lose some fans, I will get more. All I want is for us to be at peace. To hold hands in public without having to hide.”

You rise on your toes and capture those luscious lips, tugging at the bottom lip gently.  

You break the kiss to tell him, “I trust you, Zen and I love you.”

Zen is dressed to impress in that white tuxedo. Watching the way that tuxedo hugs his trim body, is the reminder of why this man is so famous and loved. He is sex personified! He kisses you goodbye so heatedly that it makes your stomach go into a wild whirl.

“Wait up for me, princess.”

You nod and close the door behind him. You walk to your sofa where your velvet throw is already waiting for you.

 

* * *

 

          Zen answers his phone that has been ringing persistently the moment he slides into the leather beige seat of his limo. It was his agent, Jung.

“Hey, Zen. I know that today is a big day, but just stay calm. I have everything under control.”

“You do?” Zen says doubtfully, glaring into his cellphone as if he could see Jung through it.

“I do,” Jung says. “Here is what you are going to do---you are going to have a good time and when reporters ask you about your girlfriend, don’t deny it. In fact, talk freely about it and how you are taking things slow.”

 Zen frowns into his phone, “What? I thought you said to just ignore it?”

“Well.” Jung stays silent as if finding the perfect words. “We don’t want your fans to think that you are the type of guy that has one-night stands. It’s bad for your image. Just know that I have everything under control.”

“You’re not making any sense, Jung. I just want it to go away, damn it.”

Jung could hear the frustration in his voice.

“Zen, do you trust me?”

“I have no choice,” Zen answers

“I have a friend that is going to help me make it all go away. You just have to be patient.”

Zen sighs exasperatingly nowhere near convinced, “Fine. Who is it?”

“Can’t say yet. I’ll call you at the end of the event.”

-Click-

Zen watches as the brightly lit downtown zooms by. All he thinks about is you. He is worried about going public with you. What if your relationship goes public and you can’t handle the pressure? You will surely leave him. He had heard countless stories like that before. He fidgets with his phone and stares at the picture he has as his home screen. It is a picture of you sleeping, your chocolate strands spread freely on his bed. How cute your sleeping face is. He is reminded of what other things can be done in bed…and he is overrun with the temptation to tell the driver to turn around so he can go home and hold you in his arms and make love to you till morning.

You watch the movie premiere event, wondering how Zen can even think straight with all the screaming fans behind that thin fence. If they really wanted to get to him, all they had to do was work together and knock it over. The cameras zoom on his face and scan from his white jacket and bow tie, down to his black slacks finishing with his polished derby shoes. You lick your lips at how handsome he looks. Zen is more than used the flashing bulbs and cameras. He stands still, poses and smiles, waving kindly to his fans.

 “Zen, was it hard playing the villain in this musical?”

“It was a bit taxing considering that my character scowls and frowns almost constantly.” He laughs. “But I love challenges and stepping out of my comfort zone.”

“You certainly convinced me,” The well-dressed reporter says. “Now if we can shift a bit from your career to your love life-- you haven’t disproven any rumors about the young lady in the video being your girlfriend. Are you two together? Why isn’t she here?”

Zen immediately freezes not sure what to say. You clutch your throw and cover half your face in it. Damn it.

“Um,” He starts and chuckles nervously and begins fiddling with his black bowtie

“Come on baby, say something,” You whisper into your throw.

Zen’s ruby eyes flash with an emotion you can’t point out. He hates that such wonderful night you both shared must be buried. He wants to express his anger, especially at his asshole ex-director. He can’t believe that his love life buried the story of Yong Lee and his predatory tendencies.  Just as he opens his mouth to speak a delicate hand squeezes his shoulder. Zen is caught quickly off-guard and turns to the feminine voice.

 “I am sorry we couldn’t ride together baby. I am here now.”

There is silence on the entire red carpet. Your mouth drops so much that you wonder how it doesn’t touch your knees. Then this mysterious woman, who has long brown hair like yours, brings him in for a kiss. The cameras flash like a lightning storm and your stomach sinks at seeing this woman covering the lips of the man you love.

What the hell is going on?

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Planning on finishing this story in a couple of days.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I edited the chapter before this one, so please feel free re-read if you want, before reading this. :O

Seven and Saeran rushed to the apartment thirty minutes after they witnessed the kiss. You had turned off the T.V by then. You tell yourself that there has to be some type of explanation of why Zen didn’t push her away and a reason to why he continued walking arm in arm with her.

“I am sure Zen had no choice,” Seven assures typing on his computer furiously on the sofa beside you.

“I hope so.” That’s the only thing you say. You don’t want to get upset until Zen explains. You glance down at your phone that keeps vibrating with texts from Yoosung, Jaehee, and Jumin.

“You got something to eat here?” Saeran asks you, walking to the kitchen. He is obviously not preoccupied with your love life. You throw your head back and glare at him.

“I have a leftover casserole in the fridge. Help yourself.”

“I am planning too,” he mumbles under his breath.

* * *

 

          Zen fidgets with his keys and enters the apartment. He is exhausted, tired and upset. He is sure you are too. The T.V is the only thing that lights up the living room when he walks down the small hall. He scowls when he sees the sleepover taking place on his living room floor. The coffee table is dragged far away to accommodate a huge duvet where Yoosung, Seven and Saeran sleep. There are opened bags of Honey Buddha Chips everywhere. His temple ticks. He is glad that they offer their moral support, but he doesn’t like the idea of men sleeping in the apartment he shares with his girl. He immediately feels guilty at the thought considering that he didn’t push away his pretend girlfriend Soyi. He decides not to turn off the T.V. and dreads going into the room. He is very late because he spent hours arguing with Jung.

_“That is your brilliant plan? Have someone pose as my girlfriend?”_

_“I didn’t want to tell you because you were going to overreact.”_

_“Overreact? You bastard. You have girl randomly come and kiss me, looking like YN, and you tell me not overreact?”_

_“It's all part of my brilliant plan. It's all going to work out. You'll see.”_

Jung’s plan is to have Zen go out on dates with Soyi, have the paparazzi follow them around and in a month’s time break it off in amicable terms. It would keep his image intact and the problem would solve itself.

_“It’s like acting, Zen. Soyi is my step-sister, an office worker. She is perfect for the job.”_

He enters the room quietly, but you quickly sit up and turn on the lamp.

“Zen.”

“Babe, you can’t sleep, can you?”

“No,” You answer.

He removes his clothes item by item. He toes off his polished shoes with a slight kick. Even though the room is dim, and doesn’t allow you to have a clear look at his face, you know that something is upsetting him. He finishes removing the expensive clothes and arranges them gently over the arm of the bedroom chair nearby. He only has his boxers on when he walks towards you and sits on the edge of the bed. His silence thickens the air around you. You know that there is something definitely wrong.

“Zen, you are scaring me, please tell me what is going on.”

“The girl that kissed me is my agent’s step-sister. Her name is Soyi and she is going to face the scandal between you and me, posing as my girlfriend.” It sounded ridiculous and crazy when he says it aloud. He slides off the bed and gets down on his knees. He leans into the bed and grips your hand, “That means that Soyi and I will be spending a lot of time together in public until it all blows over.”

Soyi and Zen kissing in public? Pretending to be in love? Would you be able to handle it? You had seen him kissing plenty of girl in his movies…sex scenes even, but this somehow seemed different.

You rip your hand away from his, “How long?”

“A month.”

He gets on the bed and you shift aside to allow him space. His arm curls around your shoulders and he brings you into a tight embrace. You force yourself to look up at him. He caresses your cheeks with the back of his fingers, “It will all be acting, YN. Then when the midyear party is over, we can go public.” His lips brush against you as he speaks, “You are the one I love, baby. Please don’t forget that. I know I am asking too much from you.”

All types of emotions swirl inside you and his kiss doesn’t reassure you this time. You want to scream out in frustration but your screams lodge in your throat. Don’t you get a say in the matter? Was there no other way? Suddenly, a thought enters your mind, the thought that maybe you and Zen are better off just as friends…

Zen lays you back on the bed and rolls on top of you. He trails sweet little kisses over your jaw and down your neck.

“I love you, baby,” he whispers hoarsely. “I love you.”

 


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You get to meet your boyfriend's public girlfriend....

You get out of the sleek black Mercedes and thank your driver Jukan. You know that _she’s_ inside your apartment already with your boyfriend. You are supposed to meet her today in Zen’s attempt to make you feel at ease. She even offered to make lunch. You spend fifteen minutes just staring at the red-brick of your four-unit apartment and your stomach knots. It would’ve been a great idea to rent out two of the units to Yoosung or Jaehee, instead of renting them all to RFA bodyguards. Like that, you could go chat with Jaehee whenever you want. You grasp the paper bag close to your body and walk up the stairs and soon you enter to meet this famous Soyi that is supposed to be your public clone.

          You enter and the smell of roast beef enters your nose, but you’re not hungry. Even if the only thing you have in your stomach is a (favorite flavor) latte in your stomach. You suddenly feel the urge to throw up, but you conquer it.

“Babe!” Zen calls out excitedly. He puts down the wooden ladle back in the black pot and takes off his apron and hangs it on a hook nearby. “The chicken porridge is done.”

“Thanks,” You say absentmindedly, noticing Soyi entering from the roof deck.

“The pot roast and potatoes are ready too,” She smiles at you. She wears your apron over a pastel turquoise dress. She walks to you with an outstretched hand, “It so nice to meet, YN. I am Soyi.  Zen has told me a lot about you. I can see why he is so crazy about you, you’re so pretty.”

You hate how genuine she comes across. Her hair color is much darker than yours and she doesn’t have bangs at all. You don’t look anything alike, but compared to the you in the grainy video being fondled by Zen, she fits perfectly.  

“It’s nice to meet you, Soyi,” You say trying to come out as genuine as she does. You grab the paper grocery bag on one hand and give her hand a squeeze. “I’ll get started on the salad so we can eat.”

Soyi smiles kindly, “Perfect.”

          You finish the salad and Zen gets up from the sofa as soon as Soyi asks for permission to use the bathroom. He leaves a samurai movie playing in the background. You toss the salad in a multicolored bowl. Zen opens the fridge and grabs a beer.

“I told you she was nice, babe,” He says.

You roll your eyes and glare at him. Men can be so clueless. You’re not upset because you thought she would be a bitch, or because she might steal him away from you, even though the thought did cross your mind. How would he feel if he went to the grocery store and saw magazines of you kissing some random guy? It hurts even if it’s all acting….

He gets closer to you and you ignore his presence and the delicious smell of his cologne. You grab the salad tongs from dish rack on the second sink and you almost scream when Zen cups your ass under your skirt and gives it a squeeze.

“Now that you met her, how about you get rid of that no sex, no kissing for a month rule, huh?”  

“Get your hand off my ass before I break your head with this salad bowl,” you say between clenched teeth.

He yelps when you dig your fingers into his wrist and pass by him to the roof deck where lunch is already set.

* * *

 

          Soyi was a very nice person, unfortunately. You start to feel bad for all the swear words you said to her in your head. You sip on your red wine that goes perfectly well with the tender roast.

“I am glad my brother, Jung, gave me the job. It will help me pay off my car.” You shift on the wicker chair uncomfortably it seemed the only miserable one was you and Zen. Soyi quickly notices the attempt of a polite smile that failed miserably.

“I am really sorry, YN. I am an idiot. I know things aren’t easy for you both.”

You take a big gulp of wine.

“They will be better soon,” Zen adds and puts a hand on your thigh. You jab him on the rib with your elbow.

“So, Soyi. How are the paparazzi? I hope they aren’t giving you too much grief.”

Her green eyes dull.

“It’s terrible,” she says. “The paparazzi are like pests and I already have a hate-club online.” She sighs. “They say such awful things about me.” Zen looks at you uneasily. He is afraid that what Soyi tells you will scare you, but he can see the pity on your face when she tells you this. Then her kind smile curves her lips once more. “The good thing is that Mr. Han has blocked all access to the street apartment that Zen and I supposedly share. And I have bodyguards 24/7, so I feel safe. What about you, YN? What do you do?”

You swallow a piece of potato, “I am the manager of a charity organization and I go to school full-time.”

“What’s the name of the charity organization? And when do you graduate?”

You ignore the first question and answer the second one instead, “I graduate, next year.”

“That’s great. Since you have classes does that mean you won’t be able to go with us to Tokyo for Zen’s event?”

Zen tenses and almost spits out his beer, “I hadn’t gotten around telling you babe.” The truth was that he was terrified to tell you because the event is a week long.

You smile brightly and take another gulp of wine and stare at Zen with a look that sends chills down his spine.

“Babe, I know you’re upset,” Zen says as you take out your favorite tote from the bedroom closet. “I was going to tell you today. I found out this morning.”

“I am not angry, Zen. I know that I can’t go to your events because our relationship is secret, but I am glad Soyi gets to go. She’s a nice girl.” You mean that. You squat on the closet and open the small dresser that sits right under the clothes rack. You pull out some pajamas and stick them in your tote.

“Where are you going?” Zen asks.  Seeing you shove clothes into your tote bag gives him anxiety. His stomach somersaults. You stand up and you feel bad about the scared expression on his handsome face.

“I am trying really hard to understand that you are doing this for us. I know that RFA oversees some powerful donors and scandal could be dangerous at the moment, but every time I see you in a photo with Soyi…I get upset all over again. I can’t escape the photos and news of you both no matter where I go. I need time, okay?”

“I understand, babe,” he says. “But where are you going?”

“I have a sleepover with Jaehee today. I forgot to tell you because we planned it this morning while I was in class. I’ll be back tomorrow.”

You get on your toes and give him a kiss on the cheek. He fights the urge to cover his lips with yours. He doesn’t think he is going to make it a month without your sweet lips and your sweet….

He licks his lips.

* * *

 

You give driver Jukan the address of Jaehee’s place and feel your heart plunge at seeing Zen leaning over the wooden fence of the roof deck. He looks so tired, so sad. You’re not happy leaving him there alone, but you can’t be around him right now. Everything in your body tells you to be angry with him, but you hold on to that bit of hope that everything will work itself out just as he says.

**YN: Hey Jaehee. Are you home? I am heading to your place.**

**Jaehee: Everything okay?**

**YN: Yes. I just need some time away from home. I have an expensive bottle of wine in my tote. Sleepover?**

**Jaehee: Yes!! I’ll go to the corner store and get some snacks. I’ll leave the key under the doormat in case I am not back by the time you arrive. See you soon, YN.**

**YN: Thanx Jaehee <3**

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have been listening non-stop to BTS, a Korean boy band. If you haven’t heard of them look them up…they are wow! You gotta see for yourself. Anyways BTS will inspire the following chapters. Thanks for reading guys!


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it may be a lil rough I just wrote and uploaded it.

 

         Tomorrow Zen leaves to Tokyo with his pretend girlfriend and that fact is haunting him greatly. He thinks about the hurt expression on your face when you rummaged through the closet last night. For the first time in years, he wonders if his career is truly worth the pain and suffering you both must go through. He remembers how you vomited your dinner before going to Jaehee’s place yesterday. He knows that this all due to the stress.  Zen clenches the steering wheel when he thinks about the conversation he had with Jumin a month ago, when this nightmare began. If he had to blame anyone, he would blame that bastard! He would’ve confessed to the world a thousand times how much he loved you already, but his insistence of hazarding the donors was something he couldn’t overlook. He knows how important RFA is to you. His white convertible screeches in the middle of the downtown streets when he catches sight of you with… _him_.

 _That bastard!_  

What the hell are you doing shopping around with Jumin? His better judgment told him that there was no way that you would cheat on him with that corporate drone, but the doubt was still there. Biting on his lower lip he forces himself to go home and wait for you. You should be home early today, right? I mean, your boyfriend is going on a long trip tomorrow at the crack of dawn and it’s only right for you to spend some time with him.

The honking behind him wakes Zen from his thoughts. He glares through the rearview mirror. He blinks away the images of that pinstriped freak putting his arms around you and asking you to model some dresses for him. His blood boils. They honk again and Zen grips the steering wheel with fervor and glares at the dumbass behind him and takes the street towards the home you both share. All throughout the ride, he fights the urge to go back and snatch you away from him.

* * *

 

                It’s already seven at night and you’re still not home. Zen doesn’t know what to do with himself anymore.  His jealousy is eating him alive. He eyes the empty cans of beer over the coffee table and the living room suddenly feels stuffy and constricting.  He wrestles with the urge to call you. He removes the thin (color) t-shirt and tosses it on the sofa and unbuttons his jeans. He is about to walk to the kitchen for another beer when you enter through the front door, removing your shoes, and walking inside.

“Hey Zen. I am sorry I am late. I hope you had dinner. I haven’t been able to keep anything in my stomach all day today.”

You enter with a fancy shopping bag from Burberry and place it on the bar counter. Zen ignores everything you say because his eyes are fixed on your shopping bag.

“Since when does Jumin give you gifts?” He says between gritted teeth.

You frown at his question as he grabs the bag and begins peeking inside it. You yank it from his hands and clutch it close to your chest, “Don’t you dare, Zen!” 

He narrows his eyes at you, “You spent all day with him? I was home by one.”

“You have some nerve to point fingers at me when you are making out with some stranger and playing happy couple for photos.”

“That’s acting!” He retorts, raking his hair with his fingers frustratingly

“Jumin is my friend! Your friend too. He took Jaehee and I shopping for the mid-year party, or have you forgotten that I also have my own work to do?” Plus, you didn’t want to admit that your previous dresses are fitting a bit tighter than usual.

You put the bag back on the counter and try to walk past him. Your head wants to hurt in annoyance. He grabs you by the upper arm and pulls you towards him, “You modeled that little black dress inside there for him?” He scans down your body so slowly that your breath hitches. His blood gurgles at just the thought of Jumin's eyes on you. 

“How can you lecture me when you are swapping saliva with Soyi?”  

Your (color) are glistening in their fury and you try to pull away from him again,  but he doesn’t let go. In fact, he grips you tighter.  He is pissed off. Really pissed off.  He loosens his grip to grab you by the wrist until your palm is pressed against the hardening bulge poking against his jeans.

“You're the only one I love and the only one I get hard for, YN.” The huskiness of his voice makes your heart skip a beat.  He rubs your hand against his erection his hips bucking slightly.

You rip from him and raise your hand in the air in an attempt to slap him. _This will put him in his place!_ But before you make contact with his cheek, he grips you by the wrist again and twirls you until your pulled tight against his body. He leans in and nuzzles your neck. His shuddering breath warms the nape of your neck when he whispers, “I miss making love to you, YN.”

You wiggle in his embrace trying to break free before he seduces you. With every movement of his body you feel his erection demanding attention and when you rise on your toes, he bends you over slightly giving him the chance to grind his hard cock against your ass. 

“Let me go, Zen,” You attempt to say when he licks that tender skin behind your ear with the tip of his tongue. 

No matter how much you wrestle in his arms, he doesn’t soften his grip. Your arms are locked under his strong arms impeding any movement. He walks you towards the sofa and you know his intention. He is going to fuck you and if you don't do something now you are going to let him...

 Zen reads your thoughts as he snakes one hand under your shirt. You bite your lip at the contact of skin, but then his fingers curl and he begins tugging down your leggings forcefully. You squirm with fervor and you even begin to kick, but you have no idea what has gotten into Zen or into you.  You can’t seem to fight him off and maybe it's because you want him as much as he wants you.

“Don’t you dare, Zen! I will dump you! I said no sex until it’s over.” The last part comes out with a moan when he begins stroking  between your thighs as soon as your leggings and undies bunch mid-thigh. He half-walks you and drags you to the sofa and throws you on it. 

You're both breathing heavily and your knees are so weak that you can’t muster the strength to get up off the sofa and run to the bedroom. Instead, you watch how he watches you with that heavy-lidded gaze overflowing with desire.

“I just want to taste you," He says softly. 

You let out a shallow breath at the aroused tone in his voice and you don’t stop him when he yanks your bottoms completely off and squats between your legs.  He breathes in sharply when he parts your thighs and slides a strong finger between your fleshy wet folds. He loves how wet you are for him already.

 His ruby gaze connects with yours, “Let me pleasure you, YN. That’s not breaking the rules.” He rubs your clit with the pad of his forefinger and his lips curl into a smirk at the way your body jerks in response.

“Yes, it is,” You breathe as you clench your hands into fists suppressing a moan.

You throw your head back against the sofa when he kisses your inner thigh.  His lips so agonizingly tender. You hate how aroused you are and how your core throbs with the need of having him inside you. Zen’s gaze travels up your body. You are so sexy to him even if your upper body is still dressed.  He stands up and tugs his jeans down along with his boxers until his erection is exposed, until his beautifully sculpted body is just inches away from you. 

You swallow thickly as he steps out of his jeans and drops to his knees immediately. He slides his hands under you and cups your ass and before you can even protest he slides you closer to him and buries his face between your legs. The moment his tongue and mouth begins licking and tasting, you realize that Zen can do whatever he wants with you and you will be unable to stop him because you desire him as much as he does.

Zen loves the way your hips thrust against him. He loves how quick your body hums in response. Most of all,  he loves the way you give your sweet pussy to him. He spreads you with his fingers and drinks your juices hungrily. Just this is enough to make him cum. He feels like a starving man and he won't be satisfied until you're cumming inside his mouth. He slides a finger inside you and your moan is loud and instantaneous. He can't help but feel victorious...

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Zen: 1 and MC: 0 ???? Will post the rest tomorrow!  
> This will have a happy ending! No worries. I am not planning on surprising you with anything too heartbreaking. Thanks for reading.  
> .


	18. Chapter 18

“Zennn,” you breathe out, clenching your toes as his strong finger pumps into you. His mouth is so agonizingly teasing that you feel like you are going to drop dead. You have no idea how much of this you can take. You can’t keep yourself from staring at how he looks buried between your legs. He grips his hardened cock with his free hand. Your heart automatically jumps.

“Don’t you dare put it in, Zen,” Your voice sounds so breathless that you aren’t sure if he heard you.

He breaks his suckling for an instant to tell you, “I’ll just jerk off, baby. You taste so good.”

The rough sound of his voice makes your thighs spasm as you lose your fingers through his hair and push him back between your thighs, your legs draped over his strong shoulders. Zen is so talented with his tongue that you can’t help being selfish. You need more of his mouth and when he rolls the fleshy petals of your nether lips on his tongue, you almost lose control. Your inner thighs tremble around him as he finds your clit and resumes his torture.

His chuckle of victory is lost in your wet core as he laps all your juices eagerly. He strokes his cock in the rhythm of his sucking as your hips rotate and buckle against his face. He loves how flushed your face is, how your moans come fast and loud, completely unashamed. He plunges another finger inside you as you hiss at the delicious pressure. With each sound, Zen pumps his cock imagining that he is inside you, sliding in and out.

You scream out as Zen buries his face deeper, fucking you with his mouth. You smooth the hairs away from his face, feeling his warm panted breath on your bottom, his jaw flexing with every movement. You are looking directly at him when you clench around his fingers and orgasm against him. You hold his head still until every spasm disintegrates completely. Your body is limp as Zen leans back, kissing you lightly on the side of your knee before pulling your legs off him. His chin glistens with your wetness and his ruby eyes are narrowed in pleasure as he continues to pump his cock, his hand sliding up the hilt over the rounded head that drips with precum.

It is so erotic to watch him masturbate in front of you like this, his lips parted in pleasure. “I want you to watch me cum, YN,” he groans, clenching his eyes.

You slide from the couch and get on your knees in front of him, “Don’t do it all over the floor, it’s a pain to clean up.” You look away, heat on your cheeks when he pauses to arch an eyebrow at your excuse. You lick your lips and grip him from the hips, “Don’t get excited. I am not going to suck it, but I’ll let you cum in my mouth.”

Zen eyes widen like an excited child as he continues to jerk himself off. You watch him intently, feeling the way the muscles flex against your hand as he milks himself. You splay your hands over his round ass to feel the muscles there contract as he continues thrusting into his hand. You love the harshness of his breathing, he is close. So close. You get wet at the lovely sight of Zen’s large hand over his thick dick. You stick out your tongue and cup his balls gently in the palm of your hand and the moment you do, Zen grunts and shoots all over your face.

 “Fuck, YN. I am so sorry,” he says, but the smirk in the corner of his lips doesn’t show him apologetic at all.

Your shocked expression is still etched on your face as you wipe away the sticky liquid with the back of your hands. You stand up and rise on your toes glaring at him, “What the hell, Zen!”

He sneers, “Oh, I see how it is. I can have your cum all over my face, but not you?”

You roll your eyes and turn around, heading towards the bedroom, “I am going to shower.”

“No, you’re not,” he says. “You’re my girlfriend and now I’ve gotten selfish.”

 He wraps his arms around your body, removing what is left of your clothing. Your naked bodies rub against each other as he walks you towards the sofa again. Zen is already so hard. You should know better, one release is never enough for him. You can’t ignore how hot his cock feels against your skin. You let your lust and love win as he bends you over, your hands spread on the sofa. His large hand holds your slightly rounded abdomen when he slides into you.

You whimper in pleasure when he impales you. He is steel hard for you as he spears through your folds that invite him eagerly. Your walls and your juices welcoming him in their clamping embrace. Your hips move with his, wanting more, you are used to his length and girth because of the many times of lovemaking, yet doing it doggy style was still rough.

“I can’t take it like this," You murmur. “Let’s change position. It’s too intense this way.” He thrusts deeper. “I feel it in my belly,” you gasp.

Zen smirks refusing to let go of the dominant position he holds you in. This way he can drive into you as deep as he wants, he can see his cock sliding in and out of you.  His fingers bite into your hips as he pulls out and shoves himself inside causing you to shriek out.

“You can take it, baby,” he whispers hoarsely

His hips continue thrusting forward, every plunge, deeper and harder than the last. His movements are filled with disparity. He missed having you this way. He missed being inside you. You can’t stop the gasping moans escaping your lips as the pressure off him filling you and stretching to capacity causes electric shocks to run through your body.

You bury yourself further into the sofa as Zen growls refusing to slow down his hasty pace. His rhythm insistent, wild, and angry for being denied of sex for so long. All you feel is the numbing pleasure as you both erupt together, losing yourself in a world where only you two exist. No paparazzi, no RFA, just the both of you…

 He remains connected with you and leans to kiss your ear, his breath heavy and erratic, “I am going to make love to you all night, YN, so all you’ll think about is me when I am gone.” 

Your stomach hurdles as he pulls out of you gently and carries you in his arms and into the room to fulfill his promise.  

 

* * *

 

“You look so sleepy, Zen,” Soyi says concerned as Zen sits on his large airplane seat. He accommodates the (color) knitted scarf around his neck, making sure it covers the hickeys you left all over him. “You didn’t sleep well?”

“Something like that,” he says looking outside his airplane window with a yawn. His hair is in a lazy bun because he was too sleepy to even comb it through. The sun is nowhere in sight, it’s dark and rainy as hell, but nothing was going to disrupt Zen’s happiness.  He remembers your gentle kiss when you kissed him goodbye. The love in your voice when you asked him to take care of himself in Tokyo. He suddenly feels the crotch of his jeans tighten when he remembers your orgasming face while you guys made love. A naughty smile splits his face when he recalled your grumpy face in the morning complaining at how sore you were between your legs.

Soyi can get her eyes off Zen. He is so lost in thought that he hadn’t noticed she was talking to him. She sees the way his eyes gleam and flicker and she is sure that the is thinking about you. Her lips tighten and there is a sadness that overtakes her and drowns away her excitement. She wished she was like him, that she could detach herself every time they kissed and not feel a thing. But she wasn’t an actor…

She shouldn’t have agreed to this job. Her heart ached because, against her will, she had fallen in with Zen. Zen chews his bottom lip absentmindedly, his head pressed against the small airplane window. She was glad to spend a week alone with Zen even if wasn’t real. What was wrong with pretending that she was his girlfriend? She would have him all to herself.

Zen decided that after this trip he would break up with Soyi. What harm would it do to break this farce early? All he wanted was everything to be over and once the RFA midyear party ended, tell everyone that it is you he loves. Zen looked over at Soyi as she took him by surprise, leaning over her seat about to kiss him. Zen’s quick reflexes make her miss, her lips grazing the corner of his lips.

He holds her back by the shoulders, confused. “Soyi what are you doing?”

She reddens ashamed, “I am so sorry, Zen. I did it without thinking.”

She buries her face in her palms completely embarrassed.

Zen knew that look. He knew it all too well. Soyi had fallen in love with him….

 

 


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe I am soon reaching the main climax and end of this story!! AHH!! I want to say thank you for all the kudos, hits, and comments! It is because of you guys that I continue this story. <3

You hurl your breakfast and watch the mash of blueberry pancakes, that you had woken up so early in the morning to bake, go down the drain with a flush. What the hell is wrong with your tummy? Is it the uneasiness of knowing that your boyfriend is at a work-slash-vacation with some other girl? Your phone rings in the living room and you push yourself off from your bathroom mat, swish your mouth with mouthwash and head out. You grab your cell phone just in time.

“Hey, Jaehee.”

“Do you want to see how the mid-year preparation is going at the coliseum?”

“Yes, please.”

“I am near your place. Pick you up in---30 minutes?”

“Alright see you soon, Jaehee.”

You see your home screen and smile at the pic of Zen blowing you a kiss, his lips extended in an exaggerated manner. You smile.

“I trust you, baby,” You say to his picture.

You hope his day is starting much better than yours. Your stomach gurgles and your rush to the bathroom to throw up what is left of your breakfast.

          Zen feels awkward around Soyi. He wants to be away from her as much as he can after the event, but at the same time, he feels terrible leaving her by herself, especially the way her hate-club greeted her in Tokyo International Airport.

“Are you sure, I am safe?”  Soyi asks her bodyguard who sits beside her in the Mercedes leading them to the event. “I can’t stop thinking about the girls in the airport last night. I am sure one said she was going to kill me.” Soyi couldn’t even sleep at the thought. The celebrity world is brutal.

Zen tries to reassure Soyi by placing a hand on her knee lightly. She blushes at the contact. She is still embarrassed about yesterday.

“You have the best bodyguards around. As long as you don’t wonder without them no one is going to kill you. Cheer up, yeah? We are in Tokyo!” Zen gives her a wide kind smile and Soyi feels like her heart is going to burst. How can a man be so perfect? He was a God. She loved the way his silver bangs curled over the bridge of his nose and that suit…...

God.

He looked so hot in black!! Soyi felt like a terrible person considering how sweet and nice you were, but there was no harm in ogling, was there?

“You’re right, Zen,” Soyi smile with a tilt of the head, “I’ll calm down.”

“Good,” he answers as he raises his hips from the leather seat to pull his phone out of his pocket. Immediately, Soyi’s heart drops as she sees the way his ruby eyes gleam in joy. She knows it’s you. No matter how good of an actor Zen is, nothing can replace the genuine look of someone in love.

**_Good luck on your event, Zen._ **

**_I love you_ **

**_-YN_ **

****

You stare in awe at how well everything is going. The RFA party would be a black and white theme this year. The checkered platform in the middle of the room for the auction was definitely elegant and you couldn't wait to see how it would look after everything was finally all set.  Movers brought in rounded tables as you and Jaehee stood in a corner.

“I was thinking for centerpieces we could use upside-down wineglasses encasing romantic red roses. I believe it will add the perfect pop of color. What do you think, YN?”

“I love it,” you say with a smile, "You really have a knack for event planning."

"Thanks," Jaehee says as she writes something in a binder that is specifically for the RFA party and adds, “For the banquet, we are planning to have seafood as the main plate. We are still waiting on the responses from the guests and we will go with the most popular option. I was thinking lobster.” Jaehee breaks from her professional talk to say hungrily, “You can cook it so many ways. My favorite is with lemon and thyme.”

You notice that Jaehee face looks blurry and you rub your eyes with your knuckles as she continues talking about the various ways to cook lobster. You push yourself against the wall feeling dizzy as Jaehee continues in her excited rant, she hugs the binder against her chest.

“Isn’t that right, YN?” she asks, but you have no idea what she is talking about anymore.

The entire room begins to spin. Jaehee immediately gets concerned when she looks at you. She lodges the binder under her armpits to grab you by the upper arm, “YN? What’s wrong? You look so pale.”

You can’t say a word as your eyes begin closing and you slump forward in her arms. Jaehee slides against the wall with you making sure you don’t hit yourself on the floor.

“Someone help me!” Jaehee yells as she stares down at your unresponsive face. By pure chance alone, Jumin happens to arrive just in time.

 

* * *

 

          The event was successful as Zen had expected and both he and Soyi make it to the floor where their hotel rooms are. For more privacy, the entire 10th floor was bought out to make sure there was no one trying to interfere during Zen’s downtime. He was planning on taking a nap and then soaking in the hot tub with a large mug of beer. Zen bid Soyi farewell as he stopped by his hotel door for an instant to take out the card key from his slacks. 

Soyi squealed excitedly when she notices a huge present box at the front of the door. She rushed at it as best as she could with the friction of her high heels and elegant carpet flooring. She picks it up and shakes it and hears something flop inside it.

“Who’s it from?” Zen asks

Soyi shrugs and pulls the cardboard top of the gift box excitedly before Zen can warn her about the dangers of opening unknown gifts. Soyi screams and throws the box gift away in utter fear the moment she sees what’s inside. She falls back on the floor and drags herself away from it. Zen runs to her and sees the gift she has received roll out of the empty box…. the mutilated head of a dead cat.

Zen yanks Soyi that is paralyzed in fear by the arms and pulls her away. She wraps her arms around Zen’s body automatically and begins to bawl. Zen feels terrible for the position he has put this girl in. He stares at the dead animal as the guards, that heard her scream, rush to them. What if it would’ve been you who received this gift? How on earth was your relationship going to survive once it became public?   He embraces Soyi in a comforting embrace as she continues to cry in terrified heaps.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let's hope Soyi doesn't take advantage of the situation.


	20. Chapter 20

Zen gave out a relaxing exhale submerging himself in the steamy water of his private hot spring. His hair in a high bun to keep it from getting wet, he leaned back against the wooden back and allowed the warmth to encase him. He reached to get the can of beer calling his name and began chugging it down like if it was water. Beer tasted so good after a long day.

Sitting back, he relaxed his back and lengthened is arms over the rim of the wooden tub. He turned his neck from one side to the other, enjoying the silence that was accompanied by the gurgling of the waterfall falling from a boxed slit of the tub. Natural hot spring water.

His eyes turn towards the ceiling remembering the fear Soyi was in. The truth was that Zen was also terrified. There were so many great things that his career gave him. He was able to find his true calling, something many don’t get to do. In acting, in his musicals, and with the help of his supportive fans, he was able to overcome the refusal of his parents, the parents that till this day refuse to have anything to do with him. Being a celebrity was a double-edged sword for sure, he knew bad fans came with the territory, but he loved you. He loved you as much as he loved his career, no, he loved you more. He was afraid that the career he had worked so hard to create…would push you away.

* * *

 

 

When you open your eyes, you look around confused at the familiar surroundings. Were you back home?

“I brought you to your apartment,” Jaehee said answering your questions for you. She walks in with a silver tray with cups of steaming tea, “I am so glad you are awake. You had us so worried. I took the liberty to use your kitchen. I hope you don’t mind.”

You push the covers down as you sit up in bed, “Of course not. What happened?”

“You fainted,” Jumin states following behind Jaehee and getting a cup of tea the moment she places down the tray in an empty space of your dresser. Jumin walks and sits on the nude color love seat, “Jaehee insisted that you wouldn’t like it if I called an ambulance so we decided to bring you home.”

“Thank you,” you say smiling at Jaehee as she handed you the cup of chamomile tea. The heated cup instantly warming your cold hands. “I am just stressing out with school and the RFA party.”

“And Zen’s cheating,” Jumin says nonchalantly sipping on his tea, with his long legs crossed.

“Mr. Han,” Jaehee begins to scold as she sits on the corner of the bed, “Zen is only acting. There were no other solutions to make the scandal go away. That was the best way.”

Jumin looks at you and wants to say something else, but the words die when he sees that he has made you upset. You try to hide it the best you can, but you can’t. You force a smile and say, “I am hungry!”

“I am sure you are,” Jaehee says, “I brought some groceries and I thought we could have a girl’s night.”

You nod eagerly as Jumin stands up and walks towards the tray putting the cup down, “I will be taking my leave now that you are all right, YN.”

“Thank you so much, Jumin,” You say focusing on the pinstripes of his shirt.

Jumin nods and loosens his tie, “I’ll show myself out. Don’t forget that we have an important project going out in a few months, Jaehee.”

“Yes, Mr. Han.”

 

After some kimchi omurice and a shower, you and Jaehee surf for movies on Netflix. You both decide is best to keep away from network television and gossip about your boyfriend.

“Hey, Jaehee did you bring some wine by any chance?”

Jaehee freezes her surfing and turns off the television. She turns to face you with her legs curled beneath her on the sofa. You frown at her worried face, “I was waiting for the right moment to bring this up, YN.”

You slap a naked thigh, that is not covered by her pajama shorts, lightly, “You’re scaring me Jaehee.”

“There is nothing to be afraid of.” She stands up and walks to the bar counter where a paper bag sits, she rummages through it and takes out two rectangular boxes. She hands them to you and you take them automatically. It is when your eyes read what they are, that your mouth gapes.

“Pregnant?! Me?! Are you kidding me?!” You shake the pregnancy boxes at her as she slumps on the sofa beside you.

“Well, I think it is something to consider because of your symptoms.”

You can't take your eyes of the pregnancy tests, “I am on the pill, Jaehee. Pregnancy is impossible.”

“Your chances are reduced, yes, but it is still possible. Are your periods regular?”

You stand up slapping the boxes on her lap, “Geez, Jaehee are you my doctor?” You answer anyways, “I have irregular periods.”

“That means you have missed your period.”

You let out an exasperated sigh, “I-I can’t be, can I?”

Panic begins to seize you as you grab a box from Jaehee’s lap and run to the bathroom.

* * *

 

 

Zen enters back to his hotel room completely wasted. Soyi looks at him from the bed, her laptop nestled on the tops of her knees.

“Hey, Zen. How was the hot spring?” She smiles as he walks in. Although he is not stumbling his face is really red.

“It was incredible,” he says under his breath.

He goes to the sofa and begins to throw the cushions off trying to get the sofa bed out. Soyi puts her laptop down and goes towards him. He wears nothing, but a navy bathrobe and she knows that he is probably naked under it. She feels ashamed at the thought, especially since Zen was kind enough to let her sleep here tonight. She was too terrified to sleep alone in her room.

“Let me help you,” she says pushing him lightly away, taking the remaining cushions off the faux leather sofa. Zen eyes her with narrowed eyes. His vision blurry after having so much to drink. She leans over to pull out the bed inside the sofa frame.

“I got it from here, Soyi,” He says pulling her hand away. “We made a deal, didn’t we? You can sleep here if you stay on your side of the room.”

His harsh tone made her feel bad and apologizing she went back to the bed. She crawled on the full-sized bed, pulling the golden jacquard covers over her lap and watched Zen struggle in pulling the bed frame. His robe opening and showing his muscular round pecs. His creamy skin. She dimmed the light of her lamp, her eyes never leaving him.

Zen grabbed some covers from the closet and threw himself on the sofa-bed and wrapped himself from head to toe. Immediately, he knocked out. Soyi grabbed her laptop that was under the covers and placed it over her bended knees and opened the page she was looking at before he got here.

 

** Who else hates Zen’s girlfriend? (300 Comments) **

**-he can do so much better to be honest, lol**

**-I know, she probably has those bangs to hide her big ass forehead.**

**-lmao, right.**

**-Maybe Zen has a forehead fetish! xD**

 

Soyi slammed her laptop closed and stared over at Zen who was already in deep sleep. He rolled over on the bed, face up. His arm curled over his eyes. His bathrobe was slightly open, the covers now intertwined in one leg. She slid from the bed and walked towards him cautiously. To her fortune, or misfortune, he was wearing boxer’s underneath. She gripped the thin straps of her pajama top watching how a hard-on began rising underneath his boxers. His lips parted slightly in heavy sleep. His lips were so gorgeous, they were so sculpted and luscious. She licked her lips imaging how it would feel to be _truly_ kissed by him. She loved how his beautiful white hair spread on the mattress. The chances she got to touch it, it was always so soft. She wanted to smell it. All those terrible things they say about her were all worth it to her, right now. Those girls would never know what is like to be alone with Zen. She observed him with lust filled eyes, she felt her breasts swell in excitement. She got nearer, desperately wanting to touch the smooth skin of his chest and without thinking, Soyi reaches towards him…

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author confession: I actually have a big ass forehead too. Lol.


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update. I was focused on midterms, but they are finally over.

“Well?” Jaehee asks knocking on your bathroom door. Her ear is pasted against the cold wood. She hears nothing but dead silence. “The suspense is killing me, YN. Are you okay?”

You stare at the second pregnancy test and watch those little lines appear again, just like the first one. You bite your bottom lip and grip it hard in your fingers. You stand up from the toilet seat and yank your pajama bottoms up. You walk to the mirror and meet eyes with your reflection. The pregnancy test is still in your hand, the other one sits on the rim of the sink over a wad of toilet paper. You can't help but notice Zen’s shaving cream, his razors and yours. A child. You. This couldn’t be. How the hell could this be?

“Is there a chance these things could make mistakes?” You ask vacantly to Jaehee. You still can't believe. You are still in denial.

“Maybe," she says through the door. "Did you take both tests? Let me in.”

"Yes," You sigh wearily and undo the latch.

 Jaehee enters quick and stares at you with the two positive pregnancy test. She covers her mouth with the palm of her hand in realization. This was one of the first times she hated being right.

This was supposed to be a joyous day, right?  You are a college girl. You can afford this baby...but you're not feeling any happiness. The reality is that you are scared out of your mind. How are you going to bring a baby into a world where all eyes will be on him? To boot his father is in Japan with his pretend girl. Your fear is mixed with shock and anger when you think back at how much Zen hated wearing condoms. Every time you slept with him it was such a hassle that you decided to get on birth control for the sake of both. It's not like you didn't love it too...though...  You hear his lust filled voice the first time he came inside you.

_It feels so much better like this doesn’t it, babe?_

You throw the pregnancy tests to the trash and wipe away the tears before they form. “I am going to kill my doctor. Why the hell am I paying for birth control if it’s not doing any birth controlling.”

“Accidents happen, YN," Jaehee feels unsure if to congratulate you or apologize. She asks instead, "How far along do you think are?” 

You pause mid-step when you pass her to go back to the kitchen. The time you got pregnant had to be after that night you did it in the club with him. Anytime around that. That would mean you were around three weeks pregnant...

* * *

 

        Zen’s skin is so creamy. Even the way he breathes and snores lightly is beautiful to Soyi. She hadn't noticed how long his eyelashes were until now. How soft they look resting against his skin. Her fingers hover over his face, imagining the feel of his skin against her fingers. Her fingers float over his parted lips, his chest that rises and lowers with sleep. Her entire body trembles at feeling him so close. Her thumb makes contact with the velvet smooth of his bottom lip. 

"YN," Zen breathes shifting lightly in his creaky sofa bed. The moment your name escapes his lips, Soyi's entire body freezes. 

He was thinking about you even as drunk as he was. All he can think about is you. She remembers the way his eyes glistened when you texted him. Guilt shatters her body like a stab to the stomach. What the hell is she doing? Zen loves you so much and she's about to do something stupid...

Soyi walks towards the door of the hotel room and hears the murmuring of her bodyguards talking outside. It's only a matter of time before they go to their rooms. Soyi is invaded with the need to escape out of this room. To be alone. She wants to go for a walk in downtown Tokyo without being afraid. She wants to enjoy her time here and plug her headphones in her ears and listen to music under the neon lights of downtown. She would be happy like that...with no one pestering her, no evil fans, no bodyguards. Just her. She wants to remove from her mind the fact that she was about to kiss Zen. Forget that she was about to stoop so low and kiss the man of another girl. She can't believe she has fallen in love with him. 

She looks over at the clock on the nightstand. It is still early to go for a walk. Tomorrow's event would be longer than this one. Making up her mind, she tip-toes to the bathroom and gets dressed. She looks one last time at Zen who shifts in bed with a deep sigh and calls your name again. Zen belongs to one woman only and that woman is you....

* * *

 

             Soyi is not sure how she gets away without no one noticing her, but she is glad that she is able to walk around like a normal person. She didn't know how much being normal she took for granted. She merges into the bustling streets of Tokyo and decides that she will never take a job like this one again. No matter how much they pay. She fits the highlighter green cap she bought over her eyes and walks through the congested streets buzzing with chatter, the music in her ears mixing perfectly with the neon lights on the buildings. She is in paradise.

               After shopping, eating ramen, and buying souvenirs for her brother, she finally waits for a cab to take her back to the hotel. She feels so much better after the incident from earlier. She can't wait for this to end so she can forget about Zen and go on with her life. Soyi pulls out her vibrating phone from her back jean pocket. The notification of the message surprises her. She is not sure why Ryan was texting her. It had been almost 3 years since they broke up. 

        "Hey, You're Zen's girlfriend, aren't you?" Soyi looks up from her phone to meet eyes with a beautiful Japanese girl. The moment she smiles, Soyi knows who she is. It's that girl from the airport. The leader of her hate club. Suddenly, that smile looks malevolent. Just as Soyi is about to run the other direction, she bumps against rigid muscles and strong hands that grip her by the upper arms. Her phone falls and smashes on the concrete floor.  She stares fear struck at the hazel eyes watching her.

“Where are you going in such a hurry, cutie?” He tells her, his grip never loosening. 

In a blink of an eye, what seems from nowhere, a black car pulls up.  In front of a congested street of people, Soyi is dragged into the car before she can even scream. They had been following her. They were following her all this time....

* * *

 

** Hyun **

**(Draft) I am pregnant**

_Damn it_. You toss your cell phone to the side. You have no idea how to tell him. You should wait until you go to the doctor tomorrow. Or call him now. You're unsure. Your hands are trembling. You roll over in bed and Jaehee groans lightly and turns to the other side. You still can't believe it. You still can't believe you are expecting a child. You think about the broadcast you saw in the corner store with Jaehee as you bought more pregnancy tests. The photos of the event with him and Soyi. How is a child going to survive in the celebrity world of his father? Under the scrutiny of the world? Fear overcomes you and tightens your throat. The same fear that has been haunting you since Zen told you about making your relationship public after the midyear party.  The fear you felt when he told you about his one-month commitment with Soyi.  It's that same fear, the fear that maybe you and Zen were never meant to be in the first place…

 


	22. Chapter 22

“I am at my gynecologist’s office, Jaehee,” your voice is almost a whisper in the tastefully decorated lobby with pastel greens and pinks. “Please don’t tell the others about my pregnancy yet. I haven’t even told my mom.”

“Yes, I won’t say a word,” she responds. “Have you spoken to Zen?”

“I sent him a text and asked him to call me this morning, but he hasn’t responded. He is probably still asleep. I am scared to tell him, to be honest.” You say the last part more confidently when another patient gets called in leaving you all alone in the lobby. 

“He will be happy. He will make a great father.”

“I don’t doubt it,” you say softly. 

You don’t say the doubts that plague you. Or tell her the fear of exposing your relationship to the public. You know that you will become a celebrity by association, you just thought that you would have plenty of time to adapt before you involved a child. 

“What time are you leaving?” she asks

“Around noon.”

“Let’s have brunch. I have this client I need to speak with now.”

“There’s a nice restaurant near here. Meet me there. I’ll text you the address.”

“I will,” she says and begins to say her goodbyes, but you interrupt.

“Thank you, Jaehee. I mean it. I am glad I can count on you.”

“That is sweet of you to say. You’re my friend and I care for you. You know what is best for you, remember that.  Now you have a child to think about too. Listen to your heart and mind carefully, YN. See you soon.”

~Click~

You text Jaehee the address and hope that Zen might be awake by now, but just as you dial his number you are called into your appointment. You let out a shaky breath and stand up.

* * *

 

          Zen wakes up with a groan at hearing the doors of his hotel room being pounded like crazy.

“Zen?!!!” The muffled yell of his guards makes him open an eye. He had a terrible hangover. He sits up in bed throwing his pillow at the door annoyingly.

“What?!” he yells

“It’s an emergency open the door now!”

Zen jumps from the bed, tripping on the pillow he threw and opens his door. Two of his guards enter with faces that scream bad news.

“What the hell is going on?” 

Zen is dazed and completely confused

“It’s is Soyi. She had an accident.”

Zen frowns and stares back at the empty bed still undone from last night. Soyi slept here tonight, didn’t she? He remembers her getting into bed. Zen scratches his head and just as his mouth opens to ask questions one of his guards gives him the answers.

“She was supposed to sleep the night here with you, Hyun. You said you were going to take care of her.”

Zen's heart jumps in dread as he continues.

“She left the hotel and she was being followed." 

She grabs the guard from the lapel of his black jacket pulling him towards him angrily,  “Well is she alright?! Stop beating around the bush!”

“She was taken to the hospital late last night. We found out just this morning.  She is very lucky that someone reported the kidnapping.  The police were able to find where they took her before she sustained further damage.”

"Why didn't she call me? Damn it." 

Zen felt guilt eating through him. She probably didn't want to be a bother. He remembers being a bit rude to her last night. It was all his fault. He had brought Soyi into this. With no time to even wash his face or teeth, he runs to put on his clothes. He grabs his phone on his way out and shoves it in the pocket of his leather jacket. He follows quickly behind his guards.

“I assume the media knows”

“Yes,” one says. “We have a car by the back entrance of the hotel ready for you.”

Zen tightens his lips at his response. What will you say when you find out? He goes through doors that say _employees only_ , hidden corridors, and finally the back entrance where the Mercedes waits. They pull out and he immediately spots the reporters and news vans at the front of the hotel. Hotel security is outside to keep them from getting inside. He pulls out his phone and sees seven missed calls and voicemails. 

_"Zen please come to Tokyo Medical Hospital,"_ her voice sounds raspy, shaken. _"Don't worry. I am okay, alright?"_

His jaw clenches at the despondency in her voice. She called him at 4 a.m. in the morning. He was completely dead then. He didn't even hear his phone the seven times she called. He was an asshole.

 He reads his messages. The most recent one from you.

 

** Babe  ** ** ❤ **

**Wake up, sleepyhead.**

**Call me when you get this message**

He goes to Soyi’s unread text from last night.

** Soyi **

**Don’t get mad…but I took a little walk to the city.**

**I promise I won’t stay out too late.**

If only he hadn’t drunk so fucking much! He would’ve heard her. He would’ve stopped her from going out. What on earth was she thinking going out by herself at night after that morbid gift?  Zen felt his entire body humming in fury, in fear, and other emotions he couldn’t quite describe. How did his career become such a pain?  

* * *

 

          You paid what you owed at the front desk and froze when you heard the whispering of the television in a corner wall of the lobby say Zen’s name. You turn on your feet and grab the remote on a stack of magazines and turn the volume up.

_“We don’t have enough information yet. The only thing we know is that Soyi Song was abducted last night by a group of Japanese teens who took her to an isolated building and proceeded to beat her.”_

You wrap your arms on your lower belly protectively.

_“Thankfully, the police got to her in a matter of minutes. There are no reports that she was seriously injured in the incident. Time was definitely a factor here. Soyi Song is very lucky they got to her on time. As of yet, we don't know the extent of her wounds, or who the perpetrators were. Our sources haven't had any luck to communicate with her or her boyfriend, Hyun Ryu."_

“Miss? Here’s your change,” you hear the receptionist say.

Her voice mutes into an indistinct blur in your mind. Your face is wet with the tears that have fallen without your control. You feel terrible for Soyi. You wish she had never been involved in this mess. What if it was you in Soyi’s place? 

 You place your hand over your belly.

You in her place, pregnant as you are now? What if the police had not gotten to you in time? You clutch your purse tight against your body that carries the ultrasound images of your baby that as of now is just a tiny speck. You wipe the tears with the back of your hands and you realize what you must do…

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hang in there, guys!!! T__T


	23. Chapter 23

“Zen!” Soyi yells happily from her hospital bed when Zen walks in through the doors, guards step aside to let him.  He is relieved that she isn’t hooked up to anything, but one eye is purple and shut closed. The guilt immediately eats at him.

“I am really sorry, Soyi,” Zen says sitting on the edge of the bed. “Look at you,” he says with a sad sigh. 

He brushes her bangs aside to get a better look at her face. She blushes at his touch but doesn't face away from him. She has scuffs on her cheek, her left arm is bandaged, but not broken.

“I want to apologize, Zen. I should’ve have listened and just stayed in my room.” She stares at the white blankets that cover her lap. “I was really stupid. Please don’t tell, Jung.”

“Soyi,” Zen says, scratching the nape of his neck, “the media already knows. Is only a matter of time before Jung blows up my phone or flies out to kill me.”

“What?! They know already?!” She panics and Zen hands her the phone so she can communicate with her brother.

"I can talk to him after you finish. I accept full responsibility."

 

          A guard interrupts, his head peering from the edge of the opened door,  “Do you wish to issue a statement? They have found out that Soyi is in this hospital.”

Zen purses his lips in anger. There are a lot of "statements" he wishes to say, mostly obscenities to those, so called, fans of his. He doesn't wait for Soyi to hand him the phone and walks out of her room. Soyi glances at Zen's retreating back and continues talking to her brother. It was impossible not see how upset he was. 

Zen heads down the bright lit hospital corridors and takes the emergency stairs. He makes it to the front entrance of the hospital. A mob of reporters is already waiting behind the automatic sliding doors. He hears the clamoring immediately and those cameras, and microphones, start looking a lot like pitchforks to him. His guards follow him every step of the way.  The noise immediately ceases to be when he stands in front of them,  in his leather jacket over a thin t-shirt and jeans.

He flips his low ponytail behind a shoulder, " I will only say this once." His face is stern, unlike the kind and flirty demeanor he always carries when he is in front of a camera. "Soyi is recovering. She will be okay. That is all you need to know about her. I came out here for one reason only." The reporters hitch their microphones towards him, bumping into each other to catch every single word. "The people who did this to her, are not my fans. I do not need or want the support of anyone that would act so horrendously. I do _not_ belong to you. Although I owe everything to my fans, I do not belong to you," He repeats.  "I am a human being who is entitled to happiness without worrying about someone trying to take it away."

“But isn’t that the path you chose, Zen? Certainly, you realize that as a celebrity you cannot live a normal life.”

He doesn’t know who asks this question but it falls on him like a punch to the stomach. His lips move, but he is unable to answer. 

“Do you believe it was wise to date someone who is not a celebrity?”

Zen panics because he thinks about you. About all the trouble he would cause you by being part of his world. The world that he chose for himself. Zen never thought he would fall in love with someone as wonderful as you. After all the heartbreaks he suffered before, his career became his love. His acting and cast his only companions. His career was the only thing he worried about, in fact, he had made peace with the idea of ending up alone. His red eyes narrow in apprehension, his eyes begin to water. His guards intercede and guide him back inside. The questions of the reporters keep bellowing behind him. This was the world he had chosen for himself. Was it right to involve you in it?

* * *

 

You turn off the television in Jaehee's living room unable to see anymore. You stand up to put the remote on the moon table right under her big flat screen. Jaehee’s apartment is small and cozy, but you feel uncomfortable and alone. You both had lunch in a hurry because an emergency came up at work.  You drove to her place unable to be in the apartment that was saturated with his scent, his things and yours, and filled with the memories you have both made together. Your cell phone rings and it takes you awhile to fish it out from your purse that rests on the legs of  Jaehee's suede sofa.

_It's him._

“YN,” he says. Not being greeted by that nickname you have grown to love makes your chest constrict. _Babe._

“How’s Soyi?” You ask, trying to fight the way your heart wrenches. He sounds distant, so very distant. 

“She’s doing well. It was nothing serious.”

“I am glad.”

Why does it feel as if you haven’t seen or talked to each other in years? As if there were miles and miles between you.

“Yeah. I am glad too. YN, listen, I wanted to let you know that I am headed to Korea tonight. Not sure what time so don’t wait up.”

“Okay. When you return, we have to talk.”

You had practiced those dreaded words since you arrived at the apartment. We have to talk. You are going to break up with him and you are not going to tell him about your baby. This the choice you have made for you and your unborn child. You believe it is the best option for both at the moment...but you didn't expect for him to sound....to sound as if he had already made a choice himself. The choice to get away from you.

“Yeah, we do,” he responds casually 

Your stomach knots at his words. It is almost as if he knew exactly what you wanted to talk to him about. For some reason, you hoped for him to sound worried, for him to ask you what is going on. In the back of your mind, you wished he would give you a good reason to stay, but he doesn't. It hurts so much. You choke back a sob and you're not sure if he hears it. 

There is a stretch of silence before he says, " I have to go. I will see you tomorrow, okay?"

-Click-

The phone shakes in your trembling hands.  You drop with your knees under you, unable to carry the weight of your body. Your body shakes with sobs and the tears fall in big drops over the phone you have clenched in your hands. You stare at your home screen picture of Zen, his lips puckered towards you, the image becomes blurry as new tears pool on your lids. It's over. It's really over. You will never kiss those lips again. Those ruby eyes will never stare at you in groggy happiness in the mornings. 

He will never whisper, " _Good morning, my princess."_

You cry in painful heaps burying your face into your palms.

_You know that I will always love you, right? I am your knight in shining armor. I will always be there to protect you…_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My sweet reader-chan's, don't panic! I have promised you a happy ending...maybe? >_< You guys will have to suffer for a bit. I love Zen too much to make him suffer like this. This chapter was hard to write. 
> 
> T___T


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sorry for all the ones I made cry! I felt terrible too. :(  
> I love Zenny so much.

**1 month later**

Zen stands in the empty apartment that he had once shared with you. He hears your laugh coming from the bedroom where you both had made love countless times. He turns to the wall of the living room where the sofa had once occupied the space. He sees the heated night you both shared. He sees you resting on his lap, your legs hanging from armrest while you both watched movies in just your underwear. The popcorn bowl sat on your belly and in his enthrallment with the movie, he missed the bowl and grabbed between your legs instead. His touch made you squeal in choked laughter causing the popcorn to tip and scatter all over the floor.

You were laughing so hard then. You both were so happy….

* * *

 

“It’s best if we break up,” he had said it first before the words came out of your mouth. “I am moving to Tokyo. You are free to live here if you wish. I can pay your rent--”

“How can you be so cold about this?” You interrupt. “What happened?”

_Just a few days we ago we were making love!_

 Your tears fell and dripped from your chin as his ruby eyes stared you down unflinchingly. This was not Zen. This was a completely different person in front of you.

“I just decided that this is the best course of action for our relationship. It is better for things to just end now. I was offered a huge role in Tokyo.” He maintained that detached voice even though his instinct begged him to grab you, to comfort you and kiss your tears away. But if he did that, he wouldn’t be able to let you go. This was easier. “What does it matter in which way I say it anyway? You were going to break up with me too, weren’t you? This is what we both wanted.”

_No. No, it isn’t_

You flinched at the flat tone of his voice. You bit your inner cheek to keep from dissolving into more tears. You wiped away the ones that threatened to fall and you met his gaze with just as much hardness.

 You forced yourself to smile, “You’re right. This is for the best.”

* * *

 

          Zen gets in the private cab that waits for him outside after officially turning in the apartment. His phone vibrates as the door is opened for him, he tugs it out from the front pocket of his white jeans.  He slides into the back seat and answers Jaehee’s call.

“Zen, I want to make my last effort to make you reconsider staying in Korea.”

“I am already headed to the airport,” he says looking back at the apartment you both shared one last time.

“Could you at least make an appearance at the RFA party? It’s already so jam-packed with people. I am hiding in the storage unit, but even from here I am sure you can hear them.”

“Yeah, I can hear them. It sounds lively.” He sighs and combs his fingers through his bangs. “The only reason I came to Korea was to return the apartment.” He looks out the window, there is a pain in his eyes. “I can’t look at her right now. Please promise me to take care of her, Jaehee. She overstresses so much.”

“I promise, Zen. Look, I would never interfere in your affairs if I wasn’t sure that you both are meant to be together. I am sure if…”

He interrupts, “It’s decided, okay? Take care, Jaehee. We will stay in contact.”

          As you shake hands with the guests that arrive and see how successful the party is turning out, you can’t help to keep glancing towards the front doors, that are riddled with guards, in the hopes to see him there. Jaehee sees this as she returns from the upstairs storage room.

She walks to you and whispers into your ear, “He isn’t coming. I am sorry.”

You ignore how grief jells in your belly, but you smile through it. Especially when Saeyoung wraps his arm over your shoulder, stepping in between you and Jaehee, and says, “You are doing so well, mama!” and places a hand over your small rounded belly. “Let me know what Saeran and I can do to help out.”

“Please, greet the remaining guest. I am going to take in some fresh air.”

Although you pretend you are alright, your friends know you are not.

          When you step into the balcony that gives you a view of the vibrant and humming city, you let out a sad sigh. You lean against the stone fencing and look up at the sky and the stars remind you of the first time you went to his house. The night you spent watching the stars beside him.

_Zen...._

You finger the necklace he gave you for your anniversary that lands just at the start of the valley of your breasts. You feel the two letters inside the elegant little heart. You don't even notice Jumin next to you until he places his jacket over your naked shoulders. The warmth immediately embraces you. 

“This air may be bad for you. A pregnant lady shouldn’t be exposing herself too much.”

 In other circumstances, you would roll your eyes at his excessive concern, a little air wasn’t going to hurt you, but you pull his jacket over your arms and thank him anyway.

  “Assistant Kang informed that Zen is not coming to the party. I can’t say it surprises me.” 

You don’t say anything and continue looking down at the people that stroll on the sidewalks. You catch murmurs of conversation here and there. 

Jumin is bothered by the sadness in your eyes. “I wanted to state that I don’t think is a wise idea to keep Zen in the dark about your pregnancy. The child was made together. He has a right to know. Zen will not disappear out of your life forever. He is a member of the RFA after all.”

“I know,” you respond. “I just don’t want to cause any more scandal for him.”

“I know the choice is not easy. I do not wish to burden you with the thought.”

“I’ll tell him,” you say again, but the truth is that you don’t know how, or when to tell him. You are afraid. You do not want him to feel tied down because of this baby.

“By the way," Jumin adds. "Since your break up with Zen came so unexpectedly, we went forward with informing the guest about a more public RFA. I was surprised by how many didn't mind.”

“That doesn’t matter anymore,” you say, sliding his jacket off you. You hand it to him and head back inside.  

**4 months later**

In the months since your break up, Zen kept himself busy. In just that bit of time, he released an album and starred in his most famous movie _Tokyo Hearts_. Despite how drenched with work he was, he couldn’t stop thinking about you. He couldn’t stop fighting the urge to call you. To see you. And sometimes at night, the torturous thoughts of another man in your life were enough to ruin his week.

“Cut!” the director says for the eighth time today. “What is going on, Zen? It is not like you to require so many retakes.”

Zen slides the black wig from his head, “I am really sorry. I don’t know what is wrong with me.”

The director steps into the scene and grabs Zen by the shoulders, “If I didn’t know better I’d say you’ve lost the joy for acting, son!”

Zen’s eyes widen in shock as if he had been struck by lightning and says, “You’re absolutely right!”

“What?!!! No-I didn’t mean like that!”

Zen laughs hysterically in utter self-realization. The other actors frown in worry as he rips the wig cap from his head and shakes his white hair free. 

“You’re absolutely right, director. I have lost the joy in acting. I don’t know why I didn’t realize it until now. I knew there was something missing. I quit.”

His director almost faints, “No, Zen! I am sorry! You can’t quit! Do you want a week vacation?! Take it! Come back when you are more relaxed.”

“Don’t apologize. I am really sorry for doing this to you, but I won’t be any good for you. Give the part to Chulsoo.” He points to the young man on the sidelines with the filming crew. “He knows all my parts. He's pretty damn good, too.” He begins walking towards his changing room and then stops, remembering something else he wished to say, “I also hope you don’t sue me for breaking my contract. If I stay, this movie will go downhill.”

He smiles and his director is unnerved by the look in Zen’s eyes. He continues pleading and begging even after Zen walks out the doors.

          Zen gets into his convertible and immediately dials a number. He connects it to Bluetooth as he exits the parking garage and merges into traffic.

“Hello. Zen?”

“Hey, Sumi. You think you can make time for me on your show tomorrow?”

“Eh? You’re coming to Korea?”

“I am returning home,” He says and finger combs his hair that is still slicked back. “Since I have a thing for the dramatic, I want to make an announcement on your show concerning the future of my acting career. I don’t need much time.”

She squeals at the thought of the ratings Zen will achieve for her show. “I’ll cancel. You can have the entire hour! Thank you!”

He laughs, “Your welcome, I suppose. I’ll see you soon.”

Zen meets eyes with his reflection in the mirror and smiles. For the first time in months, he actually feels at peace when he thinks about you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What will Zen do? I am planning a special chapter for his birthday coming up, so I want ideas. What do you guys want to see in it? Give me your thoughts to get my creativity flowing, please! <3 Thanks so much for reading guys.


	25. Happy Birthday, my love!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since no one gave me ideas for the bday chapter -sniff sniff-  
> I did my best to make it creative and cute. Short, but sweet!

          Zen sighs loudly. He can't believe he is going to spend his birthday without you by his side! I mean, what bad luck! Why did it have to be today, of all days, for your airplane to get delayed? You would arrive tomorrow,  a day after his birthday. He keeps checking his texts in the bar where all of his friends gathered to celebrate with him.

He can't believe it's so late already.

Jaehee has a large chocolate cupcake with a candle in the middle that is ready to be lighted and two balloons that are droopy because the helium has gone out. One says Happy Birthday and the other says the same thing but in Spanish. Everything was done last minute because Zen had not planned to make a party this year. His original plan was to spend the entire day with you. Go to a museum, watch movies, make love....

But that didn't matter now.

"Blow out your candle, Zen!" Jaehee instructs excitedly putting the chocolate cupcake carefully in front of him. 

He looks over at Jaehee across the booth where she sits next to Jumin. He smiles inwardly. At least he has good friends. A family. 

_The only one that is missing is you, babe!_

He leans in to blow the candle flame.

"Don't forget to make a wish," Yoosung adds beside him

Zen nods and watches the flame fight against his breath and finally give out.

            After taking a piece of cupcake each, he is about to open his presents when he feels his cell phone vibrate in his jeans. He immediately takes it out.

_**Zen, I am home. I have no idea how I got so lucky, but I am home!** _

_Could it be his wish came true?_

The moment he re-reads those words, his heart thumps. 

He stands up, slamming his hands flat on the booth table, "I am going home. YN is here! Give me my presents tomorrow." 

He almost trips over Yoosung's lap as he tries to get out of the booth hurriedly.

"Shouldn't we go with you?" Seven says, "We can move the party to your place."

"No!" Zen says to quickly but stops before he dashes through the door. He turns to his friends: Jaehee, Yoosung, Saeran, Seven, and trust fund kid, Jumin. 

He smiles widely, "Thank you, guys. I won't forget this."

             Zen runs up the apartment stairs in such a rush that he stumbles on a step.   He can't even find his key at how excited and nervous he is. He enters and sees four balloons that say happy birthday on the floor. The half-opened bag of deflated balloons is thrown beside them. He scratches his temple confused and glances over the kitchen counter.  His heart warms by what he sees. 

You mix flour furiously by hand. You have the white dust on your cheeks and on your shirt and he can't help but chuckle at the sight. By the ingredients and the pastry bags out, he already guesses what you are doing.

"Babe?" He asks walking into the kitchen.

You turn to him surprised, so concentrated, that you didn't even hear him come in. You quickly put the bowl on the counter. You jump into his arms and he crushes you to him. He breaks the embrace to stare down at your tired face. 

He brushes flour from your cheek with a thumb, "Why are you making a cake so late, babe?"

You look down, "I was planning on baking you a cake for your birthday, but I got here late, but I thought  if I hurry I can have it done before midnight."

He grins and gives you a light kiss on your forehead and then on your lips, "You're so cute. You know that?"

You grab him by the lapels of his jacket pulling down to you as you return the kiss. Tasting chocolate in his mouth.

You break it for just an instant to say to him, "Happy Birthday, Hyun. I love you so much."

"Thanks, babe. My birthday got better because you're finally home now."

You give him another kiss before breaking away and heading back to the mixing bowl. A wide smile decorates his face as he shrugs off his light jacket and soon his shirt. 

How can a guy get any luckier? 

He won the lottery with a girl like you...that loves him so much. Despite how tired you are, there you are trying to bake a cake for him. You are doing everything in your power to bring him joy on this day. He would never love anyone as much as he loves you. He is sure of that. 

Tossing his clothes on the dining chair, he walks towards you and hugs you from behind.

"Put that down," he whispers lowering his face into your hair.

You slide the bowl on the counter and turn in his arms. 

You drape one arm around his neck and with the other you cup his cheek, "We can cuddle once I put the cake in the oven."

_Cuddle?_

Cuddling is farthest from his mind.

_I want to taste you completely_

 He responds by pulling off your shirt. It falls at your feet and just as you open your mouth to protest, he takes your words away with a kiss. His tongue slides against yours expertly as he unhooks your bra with one hand.

You push away gently, still braced in his arms, "The cake..."

"Forget the damn cake," he says playfully, throwing the bra with the shirt.

You can't say another word when he lowers to take a nipple into his mouth. He rolls it in his tongue and you shudder at every stroke. You link your fingers in his hair with a moan.

Your body is aware the moment he stops this caress. You open your eyes and look down to lock with his ruby gaze.

"No cake can compete with how sweet you taste, babe," he says silkily

He takes the other nipple into his mouth causing you to tilt your head back at the sudden shock of pleasure. His tongue swirls torturously until it's hard against his tongue. 

"Oh, Zen," You moan as he trails kisses down your body. 

He unbuttons your jeans and with one forceful yank, he pulls them down your legs. The force of his tug makes you jerk slightly against the counter lined with ingredients. You steady yourself with hands on the balls of his shoulders and you grip them hard when you feel his hot breath between your legs.

"I already know how sweet it is here," he groans, kissing you there over your panties.

You can't keep yourself from pushing against his face and a little smirk plays on his lips. 

_So sweet indeed._

 He rises and claims your lips with such a hunger, that it hurts and arouses you, all in one. His erection against your body already demands attention.  

With one swoop, that makes you gasp in surprise, Zen carries you in his arms. He reaches for the icing bag that he will put to good use and walks to the bedroom. He tugs off the jeans that bunch on your ankles and throws them by the dining table. 

"You are the best gift I have received in my entire life, YN. Now let me show just how _much_ I love you." Your heart skips at the aroused deepness in his voice filled with promise as he closes the door behind him. 

 

 


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update! I know I've kept y'all waiting, but school was kicking my ass. Thankfully, I finished my research paper so expect and upload tomorrow! Love you all. <3 A million thank you's for reading and reviewing.

_Today we would like to introduce a special guest. We were shocked when he made the choice to uproot from Korea and move to Tokyo, but now he has returned home and has chosen Sumi’s Place for an honest chat with his fans. Please welcome Korea’s best and multi-talented actor, Zen!!!_

         You rub your rounded belly as you walk past the stores in the downtown of your city. The congested sidewalks no longer scared you like when you first arrived at Korea. The chatter and buzzing of people laughing, talking, brings you some sort of comfort. You can’t wait until your baby is finally born.  You stretch your neck to one side and the other. You’re face looks tired, but glowing. You carry on the crook of your elbow a shopping bag filled with bottles and baby stuff. You didn’t want to get any clothes yet because you hadn’t gathered the courage to go find out what gender your baby is without Zen. Just the thought of him mutes the sounds around you and you don’t see the huge screen in a tall building showing his smiling face. You miss him. You miss him desperately, but you try to stay busy in fear that all your despondency will harm the baby. You keep telling yourself that this is the best choice for the baby. He believes it too. But why does it all feels like you are deceiving yourself? You pass through the cafés and the smell of yummy food of the people eating outside immediately stirs your craving.

“YN?”

You lock gazes with familiar green eyes and you stare over at the tall blond guy beside her. You stare at the girl with black hair again and when she calls your name once more you immediately remember.

“Soyi!” You give a short laugh. “I didn’t recognize you with your black hair. I am so sorry.”

The three of you step to one side to allow people to pass. “Well, this is my natural color.”

“It looks great,” you say with a smile

She ruffles her squared bangs and then looks over at the blond, “This is my boyfriend, Ryan.” He extends his hand towards you and you take it.

“It is nice to meet you,” You say and it is obvious how happy Soyi looks now. She stares at your obvious round tummy and the paper bag, but you can tell she is too embarrassed to point anything out.

“I am pregnant,” you say to her. “Awfully pregnant.”

“Oh, you look great! I am sure Zen is thrilled.”

Your eyes leaden. “I am not with Zen anymore.”

Soyi frowns afraid to poke more. “I am sorry.”

“No need,” you respond. Your voice beginning to lose the life it had. “It was mutual.”

Soyi notices the tension and need of a change of subject right away.

“We’re going to have lunch. I would love if you would join us. It is the least I can do. I never really had a chance to apologize to you for everything.”

You smile once more and say, “Sure.”

         Your spirits rise after your lunch is served in front of you. Soyi chats about how she got back with her boyfriend Ryan after the accident and how they are planning to move to Australia. You listen cheerfully and tell her about the kicks you feel on your tummy occasionally, how hyposensitive your senses have gotten, and how you’re not sure what gender it is, but you believe it is boy.

“This baby is just so restless…” You want to finish the sentence by adding how the baby’s restlessness reminds you of the father…but the deep voice of Zen flowing from the T.V in front of you makes the words lodge on your throat and your eyes immediately find the source.

         Zen sits on a leather sofa next to the beautiful host, Sumi. You’ve met her before in one of the RFA parties. She is very good friends with Zen. You completely forget about the conversation you were having, forget about your delicious veggie omelet, all you see is Zen. How skinny he’s gotten. He is probably drinking too much and not eating as he should, which is strange coming from him. He takes care of his figure. He crosses his jeaned legs and smiles towards the audience.

_I felt that my career began suffocating me when I stared lying to my fans. You guys are the reason why I am here in the first place. With your encouragement, I could make it this far and that is something I will always be grateful for. I want to be honest with my fans because I have deceived you and it is alright if you don’t believe me. Months ago, a video was taken outside Club Blue that showed my girl—my ex-girlfriend and I, making out. That video erupted into a scandalous situation that went completely out of control._  

He pauses. Gulps. The memories coming along with his words.

_Because my ex-girlfriend and I could not go public and my image was on the line, my agent and I believed it would be best for me to have a public girlfriend. My fans know her as Soyi, but Soyi was not the girl from the video. It was someone I hired to pretend. I understand if you are angry. I let a lot of people down._

He gives them a sad smile.

_I wanted to get everything out of my chest because I am planning to put my acting career on hold, sorta._

The audience gasps loudly and Zen scratches his temple.

_I am stuck in a hole and I want to go back to doing musicals in my city. I want to go back to the source that gave me the love for acting in the first place and I would love my fans support---that’s if you’re not too angry._

“Zen,” you whisper. And as if knowing who’s name you call your baby begins kicking and moving.

         Saeyoung takes a break from his code creating. In one screen, he has the live streaming of Zen in Sumi’s show. He stands up abruptly and looks through his cellphone in his desk clutter.

“Saeran! Where’s my cellphone?!”

“In one of your empty bags of Buddha chips, you pig,” he calls from the kitchen.

Once he finds it and wipes the greasy film on the screen on his blue jeans he immediately dials Jaehee. He hates seeing how miserable Zen looks. How miserable you look even though you try to hide it so hard.

“Jaehee! It’s an emergency!”

“What? Are you alright?”

“Yes, I am fine, but love isn’t.”

“What are you talking about, Saeyoung? I am busy.”

“Don’t hang up!” He begs. “Love is on the line! I need you to go pick up, YN. I’ll pick up, Zen.”

“Zen is in town?”

“Ya. I am on my way now. He is on TV.”

He grabs his keys and calls his brother.

“But are they okay? What’s going on?”

“They are fine. I just need your help for this operation to work.”

“Operation?” Jaehee asks completely confused.

“Yes. Operation romance.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Seven to the rescue!


	27. Chapter 27

“Operation Romance? You are crazy, Saeyoung. I can’t just leave. Mr. Han won’t allow it. We have a lot of work. Plus, we shouldn't meddle like this.”

Jaehee shrieks into the phone when Jumin sneaks up behind her, “I’ll go too. I am tired of seeing our coordinator moping around. It’s no good for the RFA baby.”

“The what?”  Jaehee asks. She is sure everyone is losing it.

“See you at Yoosung’s place. I already called him,” Saeyoung says before hanging up.

“I’ll get my coat,” Jumin adds. “Let’s go.”

* * *

 

By the time the twins arrive at the TV station. There is already a crowd of reporters all over the place and congesting the street.  They can’t get close or through.

“Text him,” Saeran says, “He probably wants out”

Saeyoung backs up and throws the phone to his brother, “Tell him to run to the corner store.  That we are here to save him.”

**We are in the yellow Lamborghini. You want out? We will be in the corner store. Hurry.**

In a matter of seconds, he responds.

**Hell yes. Have no guards. Going now.**

        Saeyoung taps his thumb against the steering wheel peering over the dashboard, waiting for Zen to arrive. The new station vans almost collapse into each other trying to make it before they miss him. Their wheels screech loudly down the street.

“He right there!” Saeran points

Poor Zen runs as if his life is in danger with a mob of reporters and fans running right behind him like a stampede.  Even his ponytail is out and his long silver strands flow behind him like a cape. Saeyoung’s Lambo skids and does a sharp turn docking on top of the sidewalk. Saeran slams against the side window muttering a bunch of obscenities.

Zen slips in out of breath and quickly the Lambo roars its way towards the highway before the station vans turn around and follow.

 After they are safe, Zen throws his head back with a content sigh, “Now I can finally acknowledge your godly powers. You saved my ass back there.”

Saeyoung laughs. “You are welcome.”

“Just drop me off to my hotel.”

“Nah,” he says. “We are going to our boy Yoosung’s place. He is throwing a little barbecue.” 

“And,” Saeran adds, “Your hotel room is probably swarming with reporters. You need to lay low”

“What the occasion?” Zen asks

“No occasion.”

Zen shifts in his seat uncomfortably raking his fingers through his bangs.

“Don’t worry. She won’t be there.”

Zen gets disappointed instead of relieved.

“How is she?” He asks looking out the window.

“She’s fine. She has a big appetite.”

“Well, that’s good at least,” He smiles sadly.  

 

* * *

 

         When they arrive at Yoosung’s place. Zen immediately gets suspicious the moment he walks into his kitchen to get to the living room. 

He glares, “Where’s the barbecue stuff?”

When he turns, he sees the boys standing at the door that leads to the outside hallway.

Yoosung chuckles and smiles, “I took a nap. I forgot to get the ingredients. We can go to the store if you want.”

Zen’s eyes taper, “Ingredients my ass.  What the hell are you planning?”

He is about to go towards them when he hears a car driving up the garage path. He runs to the living room and peeks through the blinds. His heart stops the moment he sees you through the windshield mirror. Quickly, his body begins trembling and his stomach begins knotting.

He rushes to them. “Is there a back exit?”

“No, sorry,” Yoosung says.

“Get the hell out of the way,” he threatens.

Saeran extends his arms unflinching to Zen’s intimidating stare, “Uh-uh, you’re not going anywhere.”

“You need to talk with her,” Yoosung chimes in.

Saeyoung nods his red-haired head in agreement, “You’re not okay, Zen. That album you released was full of sad songs.”

“There was like one party song in there,” Yoosung says. “And even that one was sad.” 

“Talk to her,” the three mutter 

Zen looks down at his booted feet. “I-I can’t. We can’t be together. I am a celebrity. She’ll be in danger if she is with me. What if I can’t protect her this time? It is selfish for me to involve her in my world. She has the right to be normal without worry.” His gaze hardens and conceals all the pain he had just shown, “Now let me out.”

“Dude, her life stopped being normal the moment she joined RFA. You can’t avoid her forever. We are not saying get back together, but at least talk to her,” Saeyoung says.

“Yeah, YN has been so sad too,” Yoosung says glumly, “It hurts us to see how hard she tries to laugh to make us think she's okay.”

“Clearly, you both have the same fear,” Saeran says more dispassionately. “You both give me a headache. Find a solution considering she’s knocked up.” The doorbell begins to ring just as Yoosung and Saeyoung yelp in unison, staring at Saeran with wide eyes. “I wasn’t supposed to say that?” He feigns innocence.

“Knocked up?!!” Zen fumes. He did see your cute face a little meatier but he didn’t think it was because of that. He gets furious at the thought of another man touching you. “Who the hell knocked her up?! Who the hell is he?!”  

All three boys seem to fall face first on the floor at his words.

“Obviously you! You fucking idiot!” Saeran screams 

 The doorbell rings again and Zen sprints down the hall towards Yoosung’s room.

“Just give me time, okay?” he begs. “I’ll be out in a few minutes.”

 

The boys nod and wait a bit before opening the door. You enter smoothing your red maxi dress over your round belly.

“Hey, guys,” you smile.

“I hope the barbecue is ready because YN is craving,” Jaehee says walking behind her.

“Yum. This baby is really hungry,” you say tapping your belly. “We brought salad ingredients to accompany the barbecue.” 

The boys look at each other confused and then Jumin tells them with bags overflowing in his arms, “There is no barbecue is there.”

“Not yet,” Saeyoung says, “But we are headed to the store. How about we all go, but not you, YN.”

You frown confused, “But--”

“Your feet will swell,” Saeran adds putting his arm around your shoulders.

Jaehee rolls her eyes seeing right through their ridiculous plan, but goes along with it. “How about you prepare the salad?” she tells you guiding you to the counter. “I’ll go with them because there is a specific type of meat I want to get and I know they will not pick it right if I am not there.”

“I’ll wait in the living room,” Jumin says after putting the bags down on the table.

“You’re coming too, Mr. Han.”

* * *

 

         They quickly depart leaving you with a confused expression on your face. You wince when your baby kicks and shrug it off.

“I am going, I am going, baby,” You say looking at your belly when you feel it kick again. “I’ll prepare a bit of salad while we wait.”

 Zen has washed his face almost ten times. He looks at himself in the mirror his bangs pasted to his wet forehead.

“Me? A father?”  Zen is nervous, terrified.

How in the world is he supposed to face you after he acted so cold towards you? He doesn’t even deserve your friendship. He doesn’t deserve anything from you. He should leave, damn it! He doesn’t want to risk hurting you, but being without you doesn’t bring him any peace either. And now there is a baby. A baby he fathered. Letting out a long exhale, he leaves the restroom and gets out of Yoosung’s messy room. He walks down the hall and freezes when he hears you humming in the kitchen. His entire body shivers and his heart is thumping so hard that he can hear it in his ears.

_Where the hell did everyone go?_

He stands flat against the edge of the wall and pokes his head out. His heart jerks so hard in his chest he doesn’t know how he doesn’t collapse to the ground. His mouth gapes to see that beautiful chocolate hair brushing your waist, your beautiful face glowing as you chop tomatoes. His eyes drop from your chest that has gotten much bigger to that rounded belly that presses lightly against the counter.

“Babe,” he whispers to himself.  You were gorgeous. How much he missed you. How much he wanted to hold you in his arms and tell you how much he loves you even though he doesn't deserve you.

He could run out the door, but he can't do that. Not in the state you are in. That baby provides the perfect excuse no to do so.

 Swallowing thickly, he gathers all his courage. Tightening his hands into fists he steps into view.

“YN,” he says quietly, gently.

Your body stiffens and you turn so slowly as though you shouldn’t move too quickly. That voice. You recognized that voice. _The T.V? No. It’s not_. You turn carefully to meet with those ruby eyes that hadn’t looked at you in such a long time. You place your hand over your belly, your (color) eyes flickering in their emotion.

“Hyun.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You must hate me for ending there! I know! I know! But I need to plan the next part my lovelies! T__T


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is short. I wanted to add something for those that are waiting. I am really sorry. T_ T I was studying for finals and I finished two finals a day ago so I will have a free time, yay! I will be making quite a few updates tomorrow. :D So make sure to come back. I am planning on doing Saeran or Jumin next after this story is over. What do you guys think? Not sure yet, though, and not sure if it will be as good. lol, Thank you for your support, lovelies! <3

“Hyun,” you utter again. 

You feel so nervous to see him standing in front of you. His hair is wet and his bangs pasted on his forehead. He looks tired, skinner than you remember. You feel the urge to hold him. To ask him if he is eating well. If he is sleeping properly at night. You feel your knees weaken and you grip the edge of the counter.

“YN,” he says your name again just as softly. How beautifully your skin glimmers. You are like a goddess of fertility. Pregnancy suits you. It's been a few months since he last saw you, but to him, it feels like years.

He instinctively reaches towards you and places a flat hand on the protruding curve of your belly. His breath hitches at the sensation and realization of life forming under his hand. A life that you both had created together and how wonderful it had been to create it even if it had been unintentional. His touch sends shivers through you and you fight the urge to jump into his arms. Hadn’t it been you who also decided your separation was for the best?  Your heart jumps when he meets your eyes with a softness etched on his face.

 He pulls away and shoves his hands into the pockets of his jeans.

“My baby, YN. Why were you keeping it from me?” He is frowning now, but he looks disappointed rather than mad. He can’t wrap his head around the fact that it in the months you both broke up, a child was growing in your womb and that he was completely oblivious to it. “You know how fucked up my family life was and how important family is to me and yet you stayed silent and I-I just left you there.” 

He truly thought that his decision was for the best no matter how much the doubt ached inside him. He feels terrible at the thought of you dealing with this all on your own.   

“I am sorry,” you say, guilt making your heart constrict. You didn’t have the right to keep him in the dark about it.  “I didn’t want you to feel forced to stay with me. I thought I was doing what was best for the baby. I was planning on telling you, but I couldn’t gather the courage to do it. I was afraid.”

“I was afraid too damn it!” He says louder than intended and you flinch at the pain in his voice. “Do you know how many nights I spent awake imagining all the different scenarios where it was you in Soyi’s place? Thinking how selfish I was to involve you in my world when I wasn’t sure if I could protect you. Just thinking about something happening to you was driving me crazy. I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself. I thought if I vanished what I needed to defend... I wouldn’t have to worry about letting you down." 

“Hyun,” you whisper achingly and you don’t know if it is your hormones or the tears that slide down his face, but your sobs lodge in your throat threatening to release in any second. You speak before they do, “I thought that I was protecting the baby by walking away from you too. We started making up lies to hide our relationship involving a third person to protect my identity and your career. Although I understood, it still hurt." Your voice cracks. "I figured if we had to go through all of that it was because we weren’t meant to be together in the first place. But Hyun…” 

You pause. Unsure if it is right to say it after all the pain you had caused each other. He wipes his tears with the back of his hand and looks at you, your eyes on the verge of tears, the blush on your face inking down your neck.

“I-I have never stopped loving you,” as if in cue your baby kicks and you begin to sob like a little girl.


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Will post tonight too. :D  
> Might add a spicy scene if it fits

Zen is shaking when he takes you in his arms. He has no idea why he is so nervous. Your body heaves against him and he hates to see you in pain. Your soft but tight belly rubs over him in your cries and it causes chills to run through him. He still can’t believe that you are expecting his baby. He dares to touch you, his large hands squeezing and caressing your shoulders blades in a comforting manner.

“Forgive me, YN.  I was so cold to you the day we broke up. I made a mistake to run away like a coward just because I feared being unable to protect you.”  You look up at him and he immediately cups your face, wiping your tears with his thumbs. He can’t believe that you are this close to him. He thought he would never hold you like this again...

 “I was a coward too,” You admit with a snivel. “I was afraid of our baby suffering under the view of the entire world, of missing the joys of being a normal child. I was afraid that I wouldn’t be able to handle the pressure of being the girlfriend of a celebrity.”

“We were both cowards, weren’t we?” He smiles sadly when you nod. “There hasn’t been a single day where you haven’t occupied my thoughts. I want you to know that. I felt so horrible leaving you crying like I did. I hate myself for it. I thought about you so much that I could hear you. I had lost the joy in everything I once loved because you weren’t there to cheer me on. I love you, YN, and I love our child.” He eyes your rounded tummy. “So please tell me you’ll at least forgive how cruel I was to you.” 

The honesty and hurt in his voice shake you completely.

“I forgive you and please forgive me too,” you say and his _yes_ comes quickly as you throw your arms around him and embrace him the best way you can. Your ear against his hard chest allows you to hear how fast his heart beats. He calls your name again and you smile at how sweet it vibrates through his chest. The sound of that deep voice fills you with so much warmth. You look up at him, you no longer cry. He wants to ask you something but hesitates. The sensuous way his lips part lets you know what he wants, but he asks you anyway. 

 “Can I kiss you?” he cups your face in his palms once more and he is so close to you that you can feel his breath on your face. Your fingers curl against his chest, your belly presses tightly against him. His eyes roam over your quivering lips, but all you manage is a nod and swiftly he places his lips over yours. 

His kiss is so gentle, but it explodes inside you fiercely. His lips brush yours tentatively, coaxing your lips to part for him.  His tongue slides inside your mouth, tasting you so delicately from the inside, that you moan into his mouth. He makes you melt as he gently sips on the tip of your tongue. You return his kiss eagerly and gulp when his hands drop to mold to your hips, clutching them possessively. He tries to control himself, but he can’t get enough of how sweet you taste. He pulls away before he gets greedy.  You let out a silent exhale at how delirious his kiss leaves you. He smiles curiously and kisses your forehead and places a hand on your belly over the thin material of your maxi dress.

“Do you know the gender yet?”

“No,” you respond putting your hand over his. “I couldn’t bring myself to do it without you.”

He is about to say something when he feels a light push against his hand.  His ruby eyes widen in pure exhilaration and you can’t help but give a short laugh as he quickly gets on his knees to push his ear against your tummy.

“Why is it doing that?” He asks feeling the spasms against his face.

“It probably recognizes you,” you say with a beam.

Just the thought of that life inside of you recognizing him as the father fills him with delight and overprotectiveness. This baby was his. You were his. He loves the both of you and he can’t understand the overwhelming love for this baby he didn’t know existed until today. It makes him wonder how his parents were able to discard him so easily when he didn’t want to be away from him or her for one second. He was going to be there for this child. He was going to raise it with you. He had already decided…hopefully, you would agree with him.

“Does it hurt?” He asks when he feels you tremble against him.

You finger-comb his hair, smoothing the white tresses back, caressing his forehead with each stroke, “Sometimes it does…but other times it feels like little butterflies.”

He frowns, concentrating and hoping to feel it again, but can’t. He begins to slide your dress up believing that if he feels you skin to skin he will be able to hear better, but then the door opens before you can even protest. His fingers against your calves causing your skin cover in goosebumps.

Jumin catches the whole view and fights the smirk on the corner of his lips, “You both made up quick. Should I leave?”

You flush a bright red and shake your head, “No. No.”

You turn to get back to the salad preparation as the sound of rumbustious boys overwhelms the entire kitchen.

Zen stands up and heads outside to help with groceries. 

* * *

 

 Yoosung, Seven, and Saeran head to the backyard to start the grill as Jaehee helps with marinating of the meats. For the first time, you feel genuinely happy. All of you are together the way it was before you and Zen began dating.  Were you going to get back with Zen? You sure wanted that, but what would getting back together imply? How will his career add in? You don’t want to go through the same troubles. Breaking up and getting back together wouldn't be an easy feat now that a baby was involved. 

“I’ll take the meat outside, YN,” Jaehee says breaking you from your thoughts. “You should sit down it’s no good for you to be standing up so much.”

“No worries, Jaehee, I am fine,” you say as you finish chopping potatoes in thin slices readying them for baking. She leaves with the aluminum bowl and you grab the box of scallop potato mix and read over it. “No salt,” you say airily and dart your eyes around the cluttered counter. You get on your toes and open the white doors of the upper shelves. Just as the tips of your fingers reach for the glass shaker, a creamy white hand gets it for you.

You turn too quickly and look up into those familiar ruby eyes. He hands you the curved bottle of salt, your fingers meet and you feel jolts of electricity at just the gentle touching of fingers. His lips lift into a smile that reflects all the things he wants to say to you and all the things he wants to do to you too….


	30. Chapter 30

“So, you’re planning on getting back together with, YN?” Saeyoung asks curiously. He, Yoosung and Zen circle the grill while he grilled some watermelon for dessert.

Dinner had been uneventful, except for the fact that Yoosung did not have enough chairs to seat all of them. Since Zen was the one who had lived elsewhere and they were still salty about it, they sent him to eat alone in the living room. But you stood up without a word and sat beside him. You both ate in silence. He noticed right away that Saeyoung wasn’t kidding about your killer appetite.

“We’re taking things slow. We haven’t really talked about it,” Zen says with a stretch.

Zen thought about fishing a cigarette from his jean pocket, but through the tall glass doors, he could see you sitting on the floor playing some board game with Saeran and Jaehee. She was already drunk on wine because she kept giggling every time Saeran kept arguing with her. Jumin had left after dinner to attend to some business never saying if he intended to return.

Zen left the cigarette back in its place.

“All I know for certain is that I am staying in her life and that we both love each other.”

“You’re going to make a great father,” Yoosung said cheerfully. “YN said I was going to be the godfather.”

Seven takes offense to this and begins waving around the grill pick, “You liar! She said I was!”

Zen beams with pride and ignores their back and forth. Before, he had no idea what his purpose was going to be after returning to Korea and taking a break from mainstream acting. But somehow being here, under the stars with his friends, and with the news of your swelling belly that grows with life…this feels just right. He is exactly where he is supposed to be.

You are a nurturing person by nature and he has no doubt that you will be a great mother. Just the thought of you fills him with so much love that he can barely control himself.  He is certain that you are the woman that was born just for him. He was stupid to have turned his back on you because he was afraid. Is he terrified that he won’t be able to protect you? YES! And now it wasn’t just you he had to protect, but a baby too. Although the thoughts and what if’s scare him shitless, he is not cowering down from any threat again. He won't let anything happen to both of you even if you decide not to return to him…

He slides his phone from his back pocket that has been silenced since Saeran and Saeyoung picked him up. The phone lights up revealing the 20 missed calls he has from, Jung, his manager, and 10 others from God knows who. He browses through the news and as he suspected the media is in a frenzy. 

**LIED TO HIS FANS?! WHO IS THE WOMAN ZEN STRUGGLED TO PROTECT?**

They had found his hotel as he knew they would too. His phone lights up with an incoming call under his thumb; it’s Jung again. He backs away from the guys and distances himself just enough so their little fight won’t interrupt his conversation.

“Zen! What the hell are you doing? Have you completely lost it?! The director called me crying! You’re going to get the agency sued.”

Zen laughs, “Well you’ll make sure that doesn’t happen, right?”

“Yes! But you can’t just decide to take a vacation in the middle of a film. It just not ethical.”

“I am not going back," he says firmly. "I am taking a break and doing musicals back home. Until I clear my mind, I am not taking any movie deals.” 

“What?! Zen but acting is your life are you going to turn your back on it?”

“I am not turning my back on acting,” Zen says tiredly, rubbing his eyes. “I’ll be doing musicals for a lot less money, but I’ll be happier. I just need time to myself and to consider if furthering my career was worth the mess I made.”

As if in cue, you walk out into the backyard and his breath catches at the sight of your lovely long hair flowing in the breeze in complete abandon. Both Saeyoung and Yoosung run to you and complain about being godfathers. You smile and grab a slice of grilled watermelon from a bowl and begin to eat it as they both tell you simultaneously which would make the best. You have no idea what they are talking about.

“Take a vacation too, Jung. I’ll call you tomorrow.”

“Zen! Zen!” He yells as he hangs up and turns off the phone.

You turn to him and smile embarrassedly when he watches you lick watermelon juice from the heel of your palm. He is aroused by the sight of your pink tongue lapping against your skin.

He is so lucky for things to have turned out the way they did.  He is so happy he got to see you. He owes his friends big time.

 

* * *

 

         Close to midnight, Jaehee knocks out in one of Yoosung’s extra rooms and Saeyoung and Saeran left homeless Zen to your care. 

“I can crash on Yoosung’s couch or get a hotel.  You don’t have to do this,” Zen says as you both wait outside for the cab at the front steps of Yoosung’s home. He feels his palms sweating as if he was going out on a first date with you.

“It’s alright,” you say with a smile that you direct to your sandals instead of him. You slip a strand of hair behind your ear, “My mom has extra rooms. We have a lot to talk about anyway. It is easier this way.”

You turn to find him staring at you lost in thought. You feel heat come to your face feeling self-conscious of your changing body.  You wrap an arm over your belly. 

“You’re beautiful, YN,” he tells you as if noticing the way you shift uncomfortably.

You give a short nervous laugh. “Oh, stop it. I have gained so much weight and my feet swell up like tamales.”

He chuckles. “I swear I have never seen a pregnant lady as gorgeous as you.”

You elbow him lightly and take his compliment to heart.

“What about you? Why have you lost so much weight?”

He looks down at himself and raises his (color) t-shirt. You swallow thickly when his tight stomach is revealed to you. His creamy skin…

 “Is it really that noticeable?” His question interrupts your gawking. You clear your throat.

“Just a little,” you say. “You still look great though.”

He pulls his shirt back down.

“I spent most of my time working and keeping busy. Every time I had leisure time, all I did was think about you.  So, working was the only way I could momentarily forget about you. I kept wondering if you were alright. If you had already gotten over me. If you had found someone else.” He sighs and looks up at the starry sky. “Only when I looked up at the stars I felt close to you.” He turns to you with that boyish grin you remember well. “Cringey, huh?”

You shake your head. “Not at all.”

After all, you had done the same so many lonely nights.

 The cab finally pulls up and Zen helps you up from the steps and carries your purse and bags of leftover food. Once in the cab, Zen struggles to keep his hands to himself.

* * *

 

         When you open the front door of your mom’s house, you are both cautious not to make noise. It is already late and your mother is fast asleep by now. You are quickly greeted by your mom’s cat that purrs and slides between your legs. Zen puts the bags on the table nearby and starts to sneeze, muffling the sounds as best as he can in the crook of his elbow. You rush to turn on the living room light and grab your mom's cat, (name), and carry it to your mom’s room as Zen continues his sneezing frenzy. Finally, with the sneezing finally stopped, you turn off the light from the living room and head to your room in the opposite hall. You turn on the hall light as Zen follows behind you. You guide him to the guest room that is right across yours.  

“I hope I didn't wake up your mother,” Zen whispers with a sniffle.

“Don’t worry, she could sleep through a bomb,” You reassure over your shoulder.

After you tell him to feel free to use anything from the guest room, you both say an awkward goodnight. Zen wants to kiss you, he unclasps and claps his fingers, not sure if to go for it. You stand there waiting for him to do it too. He takes the safe route and rubs your belly instead.

“Goodnight the both you,” he says with a grin

You head to your room feeling slightly disappointed. You close the door and begin getting ready for bed with a dejected sigh. You strip and press your fingers against your lips thinking about the firmness of Zen’s lips against yours earlier. You wish you could engrave the sensation there forever. Your nipples pucker at the thought of how nice his lips would feel down there…

You go to the bathroom determining to wipe the dirty thoughts out of your head.

         Meanwhile, Zen is in the shower thinking about the same thing. He recalls your nearness, how shyly you had responded to his kiss. You taste just as sweet as he remembers. He smiles when he hears you tell him you still love him. He runs his fingers through his long wet hair that spirals against his defined back.  The bubbling shampoo sliding down his body. He missed you so much yet there was still a wall up between you.

You both love each other. There is no doubt about that. Why is there this wall of awkwardness? He wants to touch you, to feel you, to talk to you, to kiss you…to show how much he has missed you.

He gets out of the shower and wraps the pink towel over his hips. After drying himself, he walks out to the lonely room. He feels an ache in his heart. He stares at the door of the bedroom pensively. He could go to you if he wanted. You loved him and he loved you. It was only natural to seek you out. His fingers clasp and unclasp and dropping the short towel that dries his hair, he steps out and goes to you.

He raps softly on the door and when he hears nothing, he pushes it open gently. He recognizes your childhood room from times you had brought him here. The nights you both made love in that small twin bed.

He almost jumps when you get out of the bathroom, but his eyes immediately drop from your high-bunned hair to your tight swelling body. The towel doesn’t wrap around your belly and he can see the sight of the gentle curls between your meaty thighs. Immediately, need swirl in his belly.

Your breathing quickens when he meets your eyes that caught you scanning his body with just as much passion. He drops the towel allowing you take in his aroused masculine form.

 

 

 

 

 


	31. Chapter 31

“Zen,” you breathe as you gulp thickly, eyeing the rounded muscle of his pecs. The way his hair falls over his shoulders makes him look like some Greek god come to life.  Your gaze drops to the soft strokes of white hair cushioning his member that begins to quiver as you look at it.                   

“YN,” he breathes longingly, closing the distance between you. He is so tall, so masculine, that all you want to do is melt in his arms and forget about everything and just lose yourself in this moment. He brushes your cheeks with the back of his fingers and he sees the slight protest pasted on your face.

“I-We should talk about what’s going to happen between us before---” the last words are a breathy mumbling as he lowers to kiss the naked ball of your shoulder.

The soft heat of his lips still lingers even as he leaves your skin to meet your eyes. Your breath hitches when you see his features hardening with lust. His look of a hungry predator makes your thighs squeeze together, but he quickly hides it when he opens his mouth to speak.

“I want to be part of your life, YN,” he says. “I need you. I will give my life to protect you. I hope you know that. I can’t promise you that things will be easy. That is what I told you from the beginning, but this time--” He pauses and places a protective hand over your firm, but soft belly. “I will not run away from you and I won’t let you do it either. I love you and you love me. I want to spend the rest of my life with you and our baby.”

The promise of a life together with Zen sends chills through your body. It excites you and scares you. You open your mouth to speak, but you can’t find your voice and he continues.

“Nothing matters to me, but seeing you happy and safe. I feel selfish about involving you in my world once more but I came to the realization that you  _are_  my world. Thanks to you, I let go of many of my insecurities. If we promise to be honest with each other even when things get difficult—then we can work through anything. We were born for each other, YN.  I never want to go through a break up like that again.”

It’s until he places a tender kiss on your eyes that you realize that you are crying. You press your forehead against his damp skin and still clutch your towel tightly. His strong arms hold you safely, lovingly, and you realize how foolish you both had been to break up with each other in the first place. You can’t be without him.

“I love you, Hyun,” You confess and look up at him. “I am just so scared about what going to happen once the media and your fans find out about our baby. If something happens to us--”

You feel him squeeze your hips firmly as he shifts slightly to embrace you from the side in the way your belly doesn’t interfere.

 “Nothing will happen. Don’t worry yourself about that, YN,” He whispers into the top of your head. He caresses your pregnant belly with his fingers. “I will be in charge of protecting our family from now on. I will not allow anyone to hurt us or come between us again. No more lies. I am scared too, but I will not let you down again. Will you be my girlfriend once more? Will you let me protect you?”

He cups the side of your face and your heart warms at the earnest and fatherly protectiveness in his features.

“No more lies,” You smile happily. “I want to spend the rest of my life with you, Hyun.”

He lowers and takes your lips gently but even as gentle as he is you can feel that boiling hunger simmering inside him. He deepens the kiss, his wet tongue claiming it’s domain once more. With a groan of a man finally eating his most desired dish, he caresses your sides over the towel. He snakes a hand underneath the cotton material to cup your ass possessively and press you against him.

You are trembling because you want him with just as much desperation, but you can't let go of the towel so you can touch him too. You are self-conscious about your changing body. Afraid that he might find your changes undesirable. He tugs the towel and you pull it tight against you. He halts his caresses and frowns at you.

“You’re still doubting me, baby?” He asks, grabbing you by the chin, his thumb caressing your lips.

“I-I look much different than when we were together,” you avert his questioning eyes and he immediately knows what is going on. You were so silly.

“Babe,” he smiles and begins uncurling your fingers until the towel drops behind you. He scans your naked body slowly and you are not sure what to do under his sweltering gaze. You focus on how hard he is, at how his cock throbs against his belly as he takes in your nudity. He is definitely still attracted to you. “You’re beautiful, YN. You carry my baby and you are as beautiful as you’ve ever been.”

Zen grabs you by the hips and trails tiny kisses over your mouth and jaw.  _“Beautiful”_  he continues murmuring as he caresses you with his mouth and hands. He can’t contain the craving he feels in the pit of his belly. It is an aching need that continues building at the feel of your large breasts filling his palms, your nipple so tender and sensitive, making you shudder as he kneads them with his fingers.

He takes the puckered buds into his mouth and when his tongue swirls around them, you plunge your fingers into his hair holding him there. He growls in absolute delight as he trails his tongue from one breast towards the other and suckles it with as much hunger. As his tongue pleasures, you are aware of his large hands stroking down your body. His hands roam over your belly and lower until he strokes lightly between your legs. He inhales a steady hiss when he feels how your wetness coats him. You always get so wet for him.

Just as you reach to grab his cock, wanting it to feel it slide in your hand, he pushes you away gently and straightens, “Not yet, babe. I want to focus only on you, right now.”

He takes your wrist and guides you to the tiny bed decorated in your favorite color.

“Let’s get you comfortable,” he says huskily. “I want to bury my face between your legs.”

Your throat tightens at his words and you allow him to fix the bed for you. He positions you and places pillows under the curve of your back so your hips are raised for him. He goes to the bathroom and quickly returns with baby oil in hand. He stands at the nightstand at the head of your bed. He smiles tenderly at you as he fiddles with the cap of the bottle.  You can feel the love and passion swarm around you that is smothers you. You love this man so much and he loves you too.  He is at arm’s reach from you as he begins to put a generous amount of oil in his cupped hand. You can’t help but admire his godly body. Zen is all man; all his masculine curves are just begging for your touch. You get wetter at just the sight of him.

He inhales between clenched teeth when you take his length into your hand, “I missed this too, Zen.” Your cute voice makes him bite his lower lip, trying to contain his cool. “I missed you inside me.”

“Fuck, baby,” he mumbles, your words are like a physical touch on his body.

You milk him gently with a clenched hand and you love the way he reacts to you.  He is so hard, like velvet steel, so hot in your hand. He places the bottle down on the nightstand and turns carefully towards you and you don’t let go of his cock even as he reaches to rub the oil over your belly and rubs it all over. You continue stroking him, his chest rising rapidly with his huffs. Afraid to cum too soon, he pulls your hand away and you protest teasingly and he kisses your lips. 

 “Patience, babe,” he whispers against them. “I don’t want to orgasm yet.” 

Hyun massages down your body. Every squeeze of his large hands makes you more and more aroused. He brands your skin with each touch and your murmur in pleasure when he lingers to pay attention to your nipples, his thumbs rubbing the sensitive flesh. He truly does love the changes of your body. He lusts at the thought of you carrying a piece of him inside you. He strokes the swell of your belly, down your thighs, and his mouth waters at the view between your legs. All those silky folds just for him, waiting for him to dive in…

He kneads your calves and takes his time rubbing your slightly engorged feet. Zen truly feels lucky. What did he do to deserve a girl like you? You are so beautiful spread on the bed for him. Your legs wide open for him…

 He brushes his fingers over your sex and you thrust against him as soon as he makes contact. You exhale eagerly when he accommodates himself between your thighs and places your legs over his shoulders. Swiftly, he spreads you with his fingers and takes you into his mouth.

Your moans filled with sweet satisfaction makes him bury into your wet flesh deeper. He missed your taste, he missed the way your inner thighs spasm as you get close to the edge, how you clench around his fingers when he slides them inside you.

“I-I want us to cum together, Hyun. I want you inside me,” You beg, squeezing his forearm.

He is determined to grant your every desire, so he leaves his delicious meal even if he still hasn’t had his fill.

You turn on your side and shift forward to give him as much space on the tiny bed.  He pushes the pillows to the floor as he positions behind you. He gives you a kiss on the shoulder once he is in place. You look back at him and he quickly covers your lips when he slides inside you. Your moan vanishes in his mouth as his cock stretches you inch by inch giving you the mouthwatering relief of penetration.  You move in sync, your need becoming one. You both link hands over your belly which carries the baby you both created together, and together, you both find your most wanted release.

You will never let go of each other again...

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next 2 chapters will conclude our story, guys! Oh my god! <3


	32. Chapter 32

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Will post the rest of everything today and tomorrow. So stay tuned for the next parts and like always, thank you for reading!!!! instead of 2 parts for final, it will be a total of three, or four. But it will definitely end tomorrow. ~Sniff~ Feels bittersweet.

Zen is grinning like crazy when he hears the heartbeat of his child through the monitor. You squeeze his large hand as you watch your baby come to view like an oversized white bean in black backdrop. You are cold because of the gel on your skin and you both stare at the screen anxiously as the technician tries to get a good view of the sex of the baby. Zen did not care what gender it was because that didn’t matter. No matter what, he would provide his baby the utmost support and love he never experienced. Your poor boyfriend is shaking. Seeing the expectation and excitement on his face makes you heavy with affection.

Your hearts stop when the technician turns to both.

“Congratulations. You are having a little girl.”

Zen's mouth drops open and warmth rushes throughout his body that it shakes him to the core.

“A princess? We are having a princess!” He stands up and throws his arms in the air in pure fatherly enthusiasm and kisses your forehead. “Thank you, babe.”

A little tear falls from your eyes at seeing what you were going to deny your child. Zen begins taking countless pictures of the screen with his cell phone and turns to you with gratitude in that handsome face. He smiles from ear to ear and wipes a tear from his cheek.

** A week before your due date.  **

          You were so big that you felt that instead of walking you waddled now. You were just glad that everything having to do with Zen’s career was fixed and not something you had to worry about when you walked like a penguin. The media had made a big deal after he introduced you in Sumi’s show, and it took a while to get used to hearing your name on television or seeing magazines with your face on it. One of the great things to come out of this was Zen’s popularity increase. Who knew that women found daddy Zen quite irresistible?

Both of you manage to live a peaceful life in the home you both bought. You moved to a private neighborhood and your RFA bodyguards came along with you. Zen was happy doing musicals, coming home every day to you and his child.  Yet, there was still sadness lingering inside him and you knew why when you overheard his conversation. It had to do with his parents.

 “I would really like you and mom to meet my baby girl when she is born. I want her to grow up knowing her grandparents.”

There is silence, but then his father speaks. His voice sounds older and deeper than what Zen remembers. You walk to him and he gives you a tight-lipped smile and holds you close. You brush his loose hair away from his face.

“You made the choice to live the life you lead, Hyun. We are not part of that life. You made your choice. We raised you differently. By having babies out of wedlock, you add to our shame.”

“But we are married.” You find yourself saying loudly.

Zen frowns at you strangely because you are both obviously not married. Marriage wasn’t something that was important to either of you. You nod encouraging him and you see his lip quiver slightly.

“We are married, dad. Please--”

“Be that as it may,” he interrupts. “I don’t see the use of meeting the child or your wife. You have made it clear that you are no longer a Ryu.”

-Click-

Zen clenches the cellphone in his hand. A feeling of frustration clenching tight in his chest. You gently place a hand over his clenched hand and he looks at you with a sad smile.

“Let’s go see them. Maybe if they see me pregnant like this--” you rub your swelling belly under your flowy (color) dress. “They’ll open the door this time.”

He tosses his cell phone on top of the corner table and sweeps his fingers through the top of his head, “I am not going to drive two hours when they might not open. You’re too huge. You could pop in any second.”

“I am too huge, huh,” you say narrowing your eyes at him and shaking your finger against his face. “Well, _sorry_.” You cross your arms against your chest and look away with a _hmph._

 “I didn’t mean it in an offensive way. I am sorry!” he exclaims caressing your cheek.

“I am willing to forgive you if we get a marriage license right now. Tomorrow we go to your parent’s house.”

He gawks and you wink at him. You walk/wobble to the keychain holder to grab his keys. You toss them at him and he captures them automatically.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you guys want an after marriage sex scene? Or is it too much already, lmao. I'll probably add it cuz I'm a perv. T_T


	33. Chapter 33

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 2 more left! For real this time, lol.

By the time you returned home late at night, you and Zen had applied for marriage certification. You and Zen would be considered husband and wife under the law. Although Zen didn’t care much about labeling in his relationship…the word wife made him feel a strange sense of ownership towards you. You would carry his surname… an addition to the Ryu family. A Ryu that loved him and supported him completely. 

He finishes lugging the shopping bags into your modern kitchen as you seek out the nearest seating arrangement. You let out a content sigh and rub your belly tenderly as your baby moves inside you.

Zen watches you through the granite countertop as he begins putting everything away. Your cheek is propped against your palm as you take deep breaths. The string sleeve of your dress slides down your bare shoulder and your face if flushed red. You look so tired. His queen with his princess in her belly.

“Baby, are you sure about taking this trip tomorrow?”

You open your eyes slowly and give him a tired smile, “I am fine. The baby won’t come until a week from now. If they don’t open, you will stop sulking around. It is not your fault your parents are the way they are, okay?”

He nods as he continues to put everything away. You are right. He knows that.  He sees the spacious living room adorned in nude creams and blues. With fondness, he looks towards the hall that has three rooms, one of those rooms is the room of his baby. Hyun had never felt this way before. He feels fulfilled. If his family didn’t want to be part of what he had here…then he didn’t need them in his life. He would make this final attempt for you and for him, and his daughter.

 He makes some tea smiling in his own thoughts. His friends are going to freak out when they find out you guys married behind their backs, but you guys could always have a ceremony later. He walks towards you once your (flavor) tea steeps.

“YN?” he asks gently, afraid to wake you if you are asleep. He puts the tea on the coffee table nearby. He kneels beside you and places his chin against your knee.  

“ _Mmm_?” You murmur, looking down at him with small exhausted eyes. You brush the bangs from his face tenderly and stroke the side of his face with the tip of your fingers. His lips capture your wrist before he pulls away and hands you the cup carefully.

You take it in your hands and take a sip. You notice the fondness in Zen’s eyes as he regards you silently.

“Thank you for marrying me," he finally says.

You give a short laugh.

 “I am knocked up, might as well,” You tease. "Plus, I love you."

          After you finish your tea, you prepare to go to bed. You comb your hair in front of your vanity as Zen who has already stripped to his boxers’ yawns watching you with a pillow propped over one side of his head, his hair loose and spread. He rubs his sleepy ruby eyes.

“You want me to massage your feet today, babe?”

You stand up from your vanity. Your upper half is naked, all you wear is your underwear. You shake your head no and stop at the foot of the bed to slide down your panties. 

“I want to make love, Zen.”

He eyes your large breasts and your stretched round tummy as you crawl in bed.

“Is it safe? What if-if--”

You shush him with your finger over his mouth, “It’s safe, my sweet husband.”

You turn him over until he is flat on his back and grope the soft bulge between his legs. He groans as you cup him and stroke him over the thin material of his boxers. He watches you with heat laden eyes. It doesn’t take long for Zen to get erect. His boxers tent with his erection poking underneath. You begin tugging them down impatiently. He quickly helps you and flings them off with a foot.

“Let me lick you,” he starts, attempting to sit up, but you gently push him back down and grab his large hand. His arm is heavy as you guide it between your legs.

“I am wet enough, see? Don’t worry, Zenny.”

He groans at the silky wet of you sliding over his fingers. He grabs you by the sides of your hips and helps you over him as you spread your legs on either side of him. You rise on your knees and gradually push him inside you. You feel a relief when you both connect.

 Riding him slowly, gently, you both drive to your orgasm at a steady pace. Your soft swollen body moving over him is such a beautiful sight.  He keeps his eyes locked on you until your orgasm first. He doesn’t want to miss a single thing.

* * *

 

 

“Was that Hyun, Daejung?” An older lady with neck-length black hair asks peering through the living room doors. Her husband sits on a leather loveseat hiding behind his newspaper.  

“Yes,” he responds coldly.

She looks at her polished floor and then back at her husband. She stares at his geometric printed socks with an intensity that makes the pencil thin wrinkles more obvious.

“Maybe we should consider inviting him over.”

Daejung grips the newspaper tight but doesn’t lower it.

“No. He is no son of ours anymore.”

She grips her apron and says, “We are old now, Daejung.” She feels guilty for ever pushing her son away in the first place. “We can’t keep holding grudges. He is a man now and doing well for himself. We were wrong. We should consider mending our family--”

“No, Sungmin. Hyun made his choice and we made ours.”

Sungmin blinks back her tears and sees in her mind the images of Sumi’s show. She recalls with a smile how pregnant you were. How brightly you laughed. A person had to be blind not to see how much you both loved each other. He was happy for sure. Happier than he had been in a long time. She looks back at her oblivious husband. Happiness and love were something her family had lacked for so many years now, but Hyun, her “troubled” son, managed to take hold of both.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	34. Chapter 34

Midmorning you observe Zen with a playful smile on the corner of your lips. He accommodates two large suitcases on the back seat of the luxury sedan.

“I don’t even know what half of that stuff in there is, Zenny,” you rub circles on the sides of your protruding stomach with a laugh. Zen scratches his temple with a finger and tightens his ponytail looking over at you.

“We can’t be too careful. What if you give birth on the way?” Just the thought makes him panic. He wants to make sure that everything flows smoothly. You walk a short distance to him and press your forehead against his sweatered chest.

“It’s only two hours’ distance. Nothing is going to happen,” you say looking up at him. “Just what exactly do you have in there?”

He kisses the top of your head.

“Mostly extra clothes since you’ve been peeing a lot. We will be driving forty-five minutes before we reach a rest stop.”

You laugh heartily. Zen is such a dedicated man. It’s nothing surprising. You embrace him tightly and with a deep breath, you gaze over at your house. It looks intimate with a modern twist. It was the perfect place to raise babies. His parents didn’t know what they were missing. Zen was so full of love.

“Let’s get going, babe,” he says tapping you lightly on the butt.

 

          Your back is killing you just fifteen minutes into the trip. You stay quiet and swallow your pain because you know the moment you mention it Zen will turn the car around. Zen needed this. You take the seatbelt off that feels excessively tight over your belly and put the seat back. His parents lived in the countryside of the city and through a solitary street, the buildings you were used to watching blur by were replaced by green cedar trees. He rubs your tummy while you snuggle the plush blanket against your body. The toasty warmth makes you sleepy.

“You okay, babe?” he asks kneading your belly under the blanket.

“I am fine, Zen,” you squeeze his jeaned thigh reassuringly. You feel a bit uncomfortable between your legs because you’ve been leaking since last night, but it’s not like the sensation of wanting to pee. You ignore it and are thankful for the pad and the dark sweatpants you wear. You fall asleep through the trip as low music plays in the background. Zen side-glances you before grabbing the warm Styrofoam cup. He swallows down the warm liquid and takes a shaky breath in his nervousness.

         In an hour, you feel Zen’s gentle nudge as he wakes you up. He leans over you, cupping your cheek.

“Go to the bathroom, babe.”

You yawn and stretch as you place your hand in his and helps you sit up.  Immediately, you are aware of the pooling wetness soaking your sweatpants. You must’ve peed in your sleep. You get heated, embarrassed, pregnancy wasn’t at all glamorous.  Zen arches his brows at the way you fidget with your hands.

“What is it?”

When you move, he sees the puddle on the seat.

“I think I peed,” you bite your lower lip. “My pants are soaked.”

He smiles kindly. He can’t help but chuckle at how adorable you look embarrassed. He rakes your long strands of hair away from your face.

“The seats are liquid proof. Don’t worry, babe. Are you sure you’re not in any type of pain?”

You nod. “I am sure.”

          After dressing in another pair of pants and cleaning up the seat to the best of your ability, you can’t help but wonder if your water has broken. You’re not in pain and that seems to ease your thoughts that you are going into labor. Plus, you still have a week.

“Ready to go?” Zen asks returning with an armful of snacks.

You hide your worry with a smile and nod towards him. Swiftly, Zen pulls out of the gasoline station and merges into the lonely street surrounded by trees once more.  You pop a bag of potato chips and crunch down on the salty crispiness.  You shift on the seat feeling that trickling of liquid again. You breathe out and continue eating as Zen keeps glancing at you.

 You manage to make it through the other hour. You are relieved to finally get out of the car. Through a trail, Zen parks in front of a sophisticated rustic two-floor home. You remember the house from the last time you had accompanied Zen. There are two luxury cars parked in the driveway that signal that your in-laws are home. Zen helps you down and you stretch before taking his hand and walking to their front door together. You walk up the short stairs cautiously that are decorated with potted flowers at the corners. He uses the white door knocker and waits. You shift from one side to the other trying to ignore the wet feeling continuing between your thighs. He knocks again and peers through the window at the side, but they are shut closed by patterned curtains. He doesn’t say a word, but you see his hand clench into a fist. It hurts to see Zen like this. All he wants is to be accepted by his family. He wants his daughter to be part of their life. He walks to you dejectedly and you steady yourself against his body by wrapping your arms around his waist.  

 

* * *

 

“It’s Hyun and his wife,” Sungmin says trying to hide her excitement looking through the monitor in her kitchen. She wipes her hands on her apron and walks out, past the living room, to the front door. Just as she nears the wooden door, she is pulled back by her husband. She cranes her neck to meet the tall man’s eyes. His hair is as white as Hyun’s.

He narrows his brownish-red eyes intensely, “No one invited them here. He is trying to get pity by bringing that pregnant wife of his.”

“Her name is YN. How can you be so cruel, Daejung?” She looks at the door. Her son that she hadn’t seen in years was just a few feet away from her. “How could I have been so cruel to shut my youngest child away.”

She had been too worried about what people would think about her in her conservative community. She had lived her life through her career that now it didn’t provide the comfort it had given years back. She had shut her two sons away. Forced them to pursue things they didn’t love. She had been a terrible mother.

She rips from his clasp and heads to the door.

“If you don’t let me see my child, Daejung. I will divorce you. You will never hear from me again. Do you understand?” She turned to him with her eyes blazing in her intention. He had never seen his quiet wife so furious. “I am tired of living this way. He is not our enemy. It’s time for us to do some right as parents. We have failed our children, Daejung.”

 

* * *

 

               As you are about to leave, you bend over in a sudden pain. You clasp the wood rail for support. Zen swiftly grips you by both arms.

“What’s wrong?!”

He sees water dripping from your pants legs. He goes in complete alarm as you strain in his arms as contractions start breaking your body. They crash through you like torturous waves.

 “I-I think I am in labor, Hyun.”

His heart skips a beat as he swoops you off your feet and starts trekking down the stairs. You squeeze his neck tight when a contraction comes again. You can’t stop yourself from huffing and groaning in your pain. He almost reaches the car when he hears the voice of his mother.

 “Hyun.”

He turns on his feet. His eyes wide and yours too. She immediately spots your pained face and yells, “Come on in. I’ll call a doctor.”

“We need a hospital,” he exclaims worriedly, rushing to the car once more. His mother runs behind him. She is so small to him now that it makes him feel uneasy.

“The nearest hospital is two hours away, son. We have a doctor on call. He does everything.” 

She gives you sympathetic smile and just as you intend to return it, you bury your face into Zen’s chest in agony. She rushes back inside as Zen follows behind her.

“Hyun,” you cry. “It’s your mother.”

“Yes. It’s my mother, baby.”

“I am so happy,” you breathe between clenched teeth.

“Oh, baby,” he says holding you tighter.

                Your breathing is heavy as he enters his childhood home for the first time in years. Memories rush to him like a powerful tide. His chest tightens when he catches sight of his father that is being ordered by his mother to fix the empty room. He quickly does what she says without a word as she continues speaking with someone else on the phone. You grunt in pain again and he decides to follow his estranged father. The pain is unbearable, more painful than anything you have ever experienced. You feel like screaming. Like crying. Like pushing…

“This baby is coming now, Hyun,” you grind out as he walks past his father to place you in bed.

In minutes, his mother arrives and begins propping pillows on your back. His father leaves leaving his wife to tend to you. You are sweating, your bangs pasted on your forehead. Hyun pulls down your pants and underwear and feels responsible for causing you so much pain. Mrs. Ryu places a thin blue sheet over your raised knees as you continue to huff and orders you not to push yet. Zen doesn’t know what to do but kneels next to the bed and holds your hand. He is shaking.

“The doctor is thirty minutes away,” she says tightening her lips. “He will call me in a few minutes so I can describe how far along in labor you are.”

“Thirty minutes?!” Zen exclaims standing up and meeting eyes with his tiny mother. “She is in so much pain.”

She looks at her son with tears in her eyes and flings her arms around him. He freezes. You can’t help but smile through your pain. All this discomfort was worth it if Zen can reconcile with is family. Mrs. Ryu excuses herself and goes to the ringing phone.

 “Babe, you want to do this here?”  Zen asks by the side of your bed again. He smooths your damp hair away from your face as you clench the covers.

“I don’t care…as long as the baby is fine…ahhh… it hurts so much!”

You take hold of his hand and squeeze it hard. His mother returns speaking with the doctor on the phone.

“I am going to see you, sweetie,” she says to you, but you are too delirious to even answer. She peers under the sheets, “Oh my. She is fully dilated. This baby is coming now, please hurry. I’ll do the best I can.” She turns to her son who stands up immediately. “Towels, Hyun. Go ask your father.”

Hyun glances at you, but you don’t say anything. All you do is huff. He gets out of the room to find his father leaning against the opposite wall of the hall. There is tension. Awkwardness.

“I’ll get you towels,” he says simply and puts his hands into his slacks. He goes into a room and quickly returns. He hands them to him. They look at each other in seriousness until Mrs. Ryu calls for them both.

The two men rush inside at the same time, collapsing into each other. Hyun steps aside allowing the older man to get in. Mrs. Ryu is between your legs and you are completely naked from top to bottom. She turns to the men.

“She is pushing. I need both of your help.”

“Mine too?” Daejung asks in disbelief. He stares at the pained woman in bed. His son quickly rushes to her side as she gives shorts pants and then grunts.

“Wash your hands. I need you to help me clean the baby once it arrives.”

               Your mother-in-law motions you to breathe and after agonizing pushing and groaning, you deliver your baby safely. Hyun watches in awe as his mother takes the baby in her hands and his father quickly begins cleaning it with the towels gently. Your princess starts crying. His father has a face of distress etched on his face regarding the tiny infant who wails her mouth off.  Hyun susurrates loving words against your temple as you breathe deeply in exhaustion. You had made him a father. He was the happiest man on earth. Sungmin places the vernix covered baby with the umbilical cord still attached against your naked breasts. Your child instinctively begins to suckle.

* * *

 

          The doctor arrives moments later and cuts the umbilical cord and checks you both.

 Zen lays in bed beside you and you are covered warmly under blankets with one breast out where you baby feeds. Zen is completely enamored by his daughter. She looks just like him. The doctor excuses himself after his duty is complete leaves you to rest. Once the baby finishes feeding, you hand her over to Zen. Sungmin continues to clean up as Zen coddles the tiny little girl in his arms. Daejung stands up from the sofa across the side of the bed without a word. He is about to reach the door when you stop him.

 “Mr. Ryu. Would you like to carry your granddaughter?”

He stiffens and turns on his feet slowly.  Zen slides out of bed and walks to his father with the swaddled infant in his arms.  Zen is hesitant when he hands his father his daughter. Daejung glances at his wife who nods at him reassuringly. He takes the baby and holds her close. He scans her tiny swollen face. It was impossible not to see the similarities of his son on her features. Her eyes were a dull red that would only get brighter with age. Her hair is a snowy white. There is a heavy warmth that seeps through his toes up to his heart. He remembers the birth of his first son, the birth of Zen, and it’s not until he feels the comforting squeeze of his wife’s hand on his shoulder that he realizes that there are tears running down his face. He looks over at Zen with a blurry view and turns his attention back to his beautiful granddaughter. He crouches so his wife can join the view.

“What is her name, son?” he asks quietly.

Zen can’t speak at hearing those words come from his father.

“It’s (name),” you say in his place.

The grandfather murmurs her name as tears continue to stream down his eyes unashamed.

Zen walks to you and bends to kiss your forehead and then your lips. He holds your hand in his over your heart. You nuzzle against him as you both observe the joy on his parents' faces. All of this…he stares at his parents, at his little girl in the bulky arms of his father, the loving look of his mother as she lulls her with a tender voice when she begins to cry…all of this was possible because of you.

Joyful tears slide silently down Zen’s face.

It was all thanks to you.

 

 

_**-END-** _

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	35. Epilogue

Zen was a busy daddy today. He had a sick wife which meant that he had to nurse her to health and take care of his little daughter that was in the middle of her terrible two’s. He places the cold rag over your forehead as he hears the stereo booming. You open your eyes questioningly and he runs out of the bedroom. You are too feverish to say anything and nuzzle against the pillow fast asleep.

“(Name) what did I say about turning on the stereo without permission?” He asks the little human. His daughter dances to the beat in her sunflower dress. Her white braids swing around with her motions. He walks to turn the device off and she pouts.

“Dada. I wants to dance.”

He rakes his fingers through his hair completely exhausted and crouches to meet eyes with his little girl. She quickly crawls on his lap and begins pulling on his hair.

“Mommy is sick. If you behave, we will go somewhere later while she rests.”

That seems to satisfy her as she wraps her arms around his neck and he stands up to go check on the tea he was making for you. He was used to seeing toys scattered around now. They were the perfect demonstration that a child lived here. He hears the kettle whistling when his doorbell rings. He puts his daughter on the carpeted ground and she rushes to bed to apologize for making too much noise for you.

He opens the door to find Jaehee on the other side. She digs through a tote bag and hands Zen a fancy envelope.

“I can’t stay. I have to deliver these before the end of today.”

“What are they?” He yells as she marches down his driveway, but she doesn’t answer. He scratches his head confused and closes the door. He opens the fancy envelope decorated in lace and burlap. His eyes widen at what he sees.

          Zen goes into the room to find his daughter completely asleep in your arms. He can’t help but smile at the sight of his girls.

“Who was that, Zen?” You ask delicately, shifting lightly to no wake up your daughter.

Zen sits at the corner of the bed and tells you with a shake of his head. “You’re not going to believe it, babe.” He shows you the invitation in his hand. “Jumin is getting married.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First, I want to thank all of you for clicking on my story and reading it! It means the world to me!!! Thank you so very much. You guys are the kindest readers ever. Ugh, my heart hurts. I love Zen so much. I am going to miss writing him, but he will appear briefly in the story after this one. Thanks again! 
> 
> My next story will involve Jumin x Reader (not MC), so if you like him, then stick around. I might post it later next week. ~_~


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